Friday, December 13, 2013

Coming Back Home

After 2 1/2 years back in the corporate work force, I am coming back home, both figuratively and literally.  It was a hard decision, but one that I made for my family and myself.  I kept telling myself for months, that my kids were to an age where I should feel comfortable working.  I kept thinking about how my husband will be retiring from the military in a year and a half, and me having a stable job would secure us.
Then the tables started turning. I started feeling like, "is this it?", "is this what I want to do for the rest of my life?".  I was so turned around, I wasn't even sure if I was happy at my job.  I wasn't sure if the stress was workload, burnout or what.  And what would burnout mean?  Would it go away?
At the same time, my kids were having issues.  My son, who has high functioning autism, started middle school this year.  It is a hard transition for kids on the spectrum.  Not only do they have to prompt themselves for tasks, but they have to deal with puberty at the same time.  I felt like all I was doing was nagging him.  I felt like every sitter we hired, wasn't enough.....not necessarily the fault of the nanny.  They were being judged against what I thought I would do if it were me home. My son needed help.  Help keeping a schedule, help prompting him to have better hygiene, organizing his school work, ensuring he was getting enough sleep (he is an insomniac).
And for my daughter, there are social issues.  We have moved so many times in the last 5 years, she doesn't have that core set of friends that many 5th graders do.  She doesn't have a best friend. And my sweet, sassy, artsy little girl, has my 'heart on sleeve' demeanor. The gossip, girl fights, and cattiness of 5th grade hits her hard.  I wanted to be the one to dry her tears, give her advice, share in her day.
By the time I was home from work everyday, not only was I emotionally withdrawn from the exterior I was told to put up at work ("leave your emotions at the door"), I was mentally exhausted.  I was beaten, and had 3 hours per day with my kids to make them a meal, help them with homework, and get them to take showers etc.  As you can imagine, this basically was a cranky mom barking orders.
This was not the mom I wanted to be.  This was not the me i wanted to be.  I wasn't taking care of myself at all.  And my biggest concern was, is this the life I wanted to live?  Not to sound like a hipster, but YOLO!!!
So even with just a year and a half until no guaranteed income, here we go, on a self discovery tour.  I hope to use this blog in the coming year, to tell you what I've learned, share some DIY projects (I love working on my house), maybe some stories on my progress on healing and bettering myself, inside and out.  And closer to the big day, getting into life transition from military to civilian. I hope you join me on the journey!

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Say What?!?!?!

This may come as a big surprise to some people.  It is not something I've openly talked to about, because frankly, until I was sure, I felt it would be bad business to talk about.
Many of you who have been loyal fans to LilacAve know the story.  I started LilacAve after I left my career in Fashion Merchandising, to be with my son who was diagnosed with High Functioning Autism.  For a brief 7 months I did return back to my corporate life, only for us to start a whirlwind 2yrs, where we moved to Hawaii (7 months) to Georgia (16 months), and back to Virginia. During that 2yrs I put everything I had into LilacAve.  My ultimate dream was to make the business into my income.
While pursuing this "dream", our family made a lot of sacrifices financially, and we tried to concentrate our lives on doing things, and not material things.  We tried to really concentrate on what we REALLY need versus what we wanted.  It was almost like a recovery from the fast paced, buy everything we need, and don't need world before the economy crashed.
At the beginning of this year, I felt like we really had "made it".  I was earning some pretty big increases over previous years, and as exciting as that was....it was also exhausting. If you saw my blog back in June (My Reality of Owning a Micro Business), you saw that I was starting to question some things about owning my own business as an income.  What about vacation, what about 401k and retirement, what about growth plateaus?  I was starting to worry about the feasibility of maintaining the perks....working in my PJ's, being home for my kids after school, freedom with my schedule, and still growing to the point that I could pay for my kids college and retire one day.
Then summer came.  Summer Business is like a Texas Summer.  Usually it doesn't rain much.....but this year it was a full out DROUGHT!  My business came crashing to a screeching halt.  And not just slow for summer.......even slower (30-50% down from previous summers). It was heart breaking.  It was exhausting.
Back in about mid August, a series of events and random conversations, led me to start applying for jobs in my old career path.  As I kept interviewing and talking about merchandising theory, balancing inventories, and managing financial plans based on sales, I got excited. I remembered the passion I thought was dead.  The idea of co-workers, a steady income and vacation days, started to feel like a great big hug.
This Monday I got a job offer. I was more giddy and stress free than I've been in quite some time. And the more I thought about what this means for LilacAve, the more I thought, maybe it is time to let her go.

Say What?!?!?!?!

Here's the plan. It will NOT be right away.  I have too much made candles, lotion bars, and lip balms to just close up shop.  And at the moment I am at 1899 Etsy sales.  I propose I will stay open until 2000 sales. 
After that, my Etsy shop will close but my facebook business page will live on. I am hoping after a hiatus, I will start to yearn to make candles, and fabulous spa like products again.  I will want to be adventurous and smell new things, make new things.  I'll miss old things (like Blueberry Cobbler and Wood Wicks).  I will start to make things, and post them for sale via my Facebook page. 

I leave this blog post, thanking my customers for your encouragement, your praise, and being my "work" for over 3yrs.  However, I'm not leaving our friendship, it is just going to evolve.

Much Love,
Deb

P.S. To help me get to my goal and to Thank You..... any time between now and the closing use THANKYOU coupon code and save 25%.
**you cannot use 2 coupon codes coinciding**

Saturday, August 20, 2011

This vs That session 2, with MCF

We had a great response to the 1st blog post of this versus that.  I wanted to do another one, again with my folks from Military Circle of Friends.
This vs That is to showcase, that you don't always have to go with the best known names to get the best stuff, sometime handmade is just a better value and a better quality, as well as more unique.



Personally, I think Nicole's looks better.  I would also bet hers is more fresh, and her customer service more personalized.



Pink and White Petals Kanzashi Fabric Flower Hair Clips

I don't think this felt clip from Gymboree holds a candle to this well made, and more substantial hair clip from Hold It. Plus the Hold It shop has countless colored and patterned options.


Monogrammed Something Blue Bridal Embroidered Handkerchief

If you are going to use a handkerchief for your big day, or if you just love the old time elegance of it....you are not doing it right, if it isn't beautifully monogrammed, and have a delicate lace edge, like this one from Elegant Monograms. She does a fabulous job of offering a wide variety of monograms and embroidery, to get you the exact sentiment and aura you need for this beautiful accessory.