Nothing Died...a Vegan-ish Update

I have to say this journey is teaching me about myself...some things that I have learned; Some wins, losses, realizations.

• I have conquered vegan coffee.  I'm having coffee with soy creamer and Stevia. I think this was more of an aquired taste...not finding the "solution".
• I can do vegetarian pretty easy. Vegan is still a challenge.  But I'm leaning.
• Speaking of leaning....I realized I hadn't been letting myself lean.  I was outright trying to say no "X"...and going from an American diet, to vegan overnight, and that is a bit of a challenge.  I realized I can't let myself be black and white...I need to let myself have the gray areas and that's ok.  My nature tends to see a goal and work to get to that goal fastest.  I forget all I had previously said...that I was just going to be concious, and if I thought I could get by without the dairy, I would, and where I still really wanted it I would...and without guilt.
• Last night, after evaluating the above, and reading in Kathy Freston's book, "Veganist", its ok to take it step by step...and a good first step is just to cut out birds (chicken, turkey, etc).  I thought, I may get a burger while we are out to dinner.  After we got there, I realized I din't want to.  We were at Red Robin, and there, they will substitute the meat in any burger for a Boca Burger or a Veggie Burger.  I ordered my old favorite, a Whisky BBQ Burger, with a Veggie Burger instead of meat. This burger granted is not the healthiest choice on the block. And it has cheese which is what makes my version vegetarian but not vegan.  However, can I tell you....it was delicious, and tasted no different to me than the old favorite.  And Normally, I can taste a veggie burger (I like veggie burgers, but they cannot be mistaken for a burger). P.S. I also had their sweet potato fries, yumm.
• If you recall, as much of an animal lover as I am, this was more about health, and more about what I had been reading meat can do to the human body, and the added saturated fats, etc. Well, what is interesting, last night I was willing to throw that out the window and having a burger. And I didn't....and I felt happy that Nothing died for my meal. So maybe it is a little about that.
• Right now, I am content being a vegetarian. And I am trying not to set too many rules on being vegan.  I am totally down with having a burrito with no sour cream and no cheese (must have guac though).  I am ok with Vegan ice cream. I am ok with Vegan lattes and coffee. I am ok with not snacking on chunks of cheese. I'm ok with making smoothies without yogurt and just soy or rice milk. Not sure I can avoid ranch dressing, cheese pizza, or cheese on my burger yet. But I think I am leaning in just fine, thank you....and trying oh so hard, not to feel guilty for the things I haven't given up yet.
• I would like to say, I have an ax to grind with Kathy. If you remember I said last time I tried vegan I gained weight.  This time I am doing better....but my weight is just maintaining. I would just like to say, although this is about health....not weight loss, it is still so hard for someone who struggles as I do to read over and over and over in a book, how the weight will just melt off without even trying and without counting calories. I find this to be completely untrue. Granted....again, I have not been a perfect vegan.  but given in the last 2 1/2 weeks, I have given up meat, and reduced my dairy intake by more than half...I would think, if her addage is true, something would be lost.