Lilac Ave

Say What?!?!?!

2011-09-28T13:13:00.000-07:00

This may come as a big surprise to some people. It is not something I've openly talked to about, because frankly, until I was sure, I felt it would be bad business to talk about.
Many of you who have been loyal fans to LilacAve know the story. I started LilacAve after I left my career in Fashion Merchandising, to be with my son who was diagnosed with High Functioning Autism. For a brief 7 months I did return back to my corporate life, only for us to start a whirlwind 2yrs, where we moved to Hawaii (7 months) to Georgia (16 months), and back to Virginia. During that 2yrs I put everything I had into LilacAve. My ultimate dream was to make the business into my income.
While pursuing this "dream", our family made a lot of sacrifices financially, and we tried to concentrate our lives on doing things, and not material things. We tried to really concentrate on what we REALLY need versus what we wanted. It was almost like a recovery from the fast paced, buy everything we need, and don't need world before the economy crashed.
At the beginning of this year, I felt like we really had "made it". I was earning some pretty big increases over previous years, and as exciting as that was....it was also exhausting. If you saw my blog back in June (My Reality of Owning a Micro Business), you saw that I was starting to question some things about owning my own business as an income. What about vacation, what about 401k and retirement, what about growth plateaus? I was starting to worry about the feasibility of maintaining the perks....working in my PJ's, being home for my kids after school, freedom with my schedule, and still growing to the point that I could pay for my kids college and retire one day.
Then summer came. Summer Business is like a Texas Summer. Usually it doesn't rain much.....but this year it was a full out DROUGHT! My business came crashing to a screeching halt. And not just slow for summer.......even slower (30-50% down from previous summers). It was heart breaking. It was exhausting.
Back in about mid August, a series of events and random conversations, led me to start applying for jobs in my old career path. As I kept interviewing and talking about merchandising theory, balancing inventories, and managing financial plans based on sales, I got excited. I remembered the passion I thought was dead. The idea of co-workers, a steady income and vacation days, started to feel like a great big hug.
This Monday I got a job offer. I was more giddy and stress free than I've been in quite some time. And the more I thought about what this means for LilacAve, the more I thought, maybe it is time to let her go.

Say What?!?!?!?!

Here's the plan. It will NOT be right away. I have too much made candles, lotion bars, and lip balms to just close up shop. And at the moment I am at 1899 Etsy sales. I propose I will stay open until 2000 sales.
After that, my Etsy shop will close but my facebook business page will live on. I am hoping after a hiatus, I will start to yearn to make candles, and fabulous spa like products again. I will want to be adventurous and smell new things, make new things. I'll miss old things (like Blueberry Cobbler and Wood Wicks). I will start to make things, and post them for sale via my Facebook page.

I leave this blog post, thanking my customers for your encouragement, your praise, and being my "work" for over 3yrs. However, I'm not leaving our friendship, it is just going to evolve.

Much Love,
Deb

P.S. To help me get to my goal and to Thank You..... any time between now and the closing use THANKYOU coupon code and save 25%.
**you cannot use 2 coupon codes coinciding**

This vs That session 2, with MCF

2011-08-20T08:33:00.000-07:00

We had a great response to the 1st blog post of this versus that. I wanted to do another one, again with my folks from Military Circle of Friends.
This vs That is to showcase, that you don't always have to go with the best known names to get the best stuff, sometime handmade is just a better value and a better quality, as well as more unique.

Caramel Pecan Bark from Godiva is $25 for 12oz

Chocolate Pecan Pie from Nicole's Handmade Treats 1lb (16oz) for $18

Personally, I think Nicole's looks better. I would also bet hers is more fresh, and her customer service more personalized.

Gem Flower Hairclip from Gymboree $6

Pink and White Kanzashi Flower Clip from Hold It $7

I don't think this felt clip from Gymboree holds a candle to this well made, and more substantial hair clip from Hold It. Plus the Hold It shop has countless colored and patterned options.

Brooks Brothers Womens Handkerchief (2) $25

Monogramed Handkerchief from Elegant Monograms is $17

If you are going to use a handkerchief for your big day, or if you just love the old time elegance of it....you are not doing it right, if it isn't beautifully monogrammed, and have a delicate lace edge, like this one from Elegant Monograms. She does a fabulous job of offering a wide variety of monograms and embroidery, to get you the exact sentiment and aura you need for this beautiful accessory.

Jennifer Harruff makes me a Dress

2011-08-19T07:16:00.000-07:00

I am 33. Yep. And when I was a tween and a teen, the cool places to shop were Contempo and Wet Seal. My mother hated these places. Loud music and higher prices than JCPenney, where we almost always shopped, since my father worked for the company and we got a discount.
I remember vividly once while shopping for school, it was when the baby doll dresses with tees underneath were the BIG thing (Can we say soooo 90210, people). I begged my mother to go into Wet Seal and there was a sundress I fell in love with for $49.99. My mother did not want to buy it (yes Mom, I still remember it to this day).
Why do I mention this???? Well let's think about that, it was likely 20yrs ago. I'm much larger than I was then (so more material), and I love things much more unique than what I did back then. And ummmm, I just got a STEAL!
My friend, Jennifer Harruff, just made me a custom dress. All for $48.50 SHIPPED (pricing will vary). I got to pick the fabrics, and she is making it based on my measurements. It is something made ESPECIALLY for me.....for a mere $48.50.

As per last nights blog post of this vs that, all I have to say is handmade rocks, and you usually are going to get something better made, with better service (than Wet Seal for sure), and perfect for you! Look at some handmade options, support a small business owner, BEFORE you go out to the mass market. You'd be surprised at the value, the charm, and the quality craftsmanship and service that people of our generation have forgotten about to get mass market and convenience that we have been taught is the "fun" and "stylish" way to go from commercialism.

As a sidenote, Jennifer Harruff is also a member of the Military Circle of Friends Team on Facebook. Check us out to see Lilac Ave, Jennifer Harruff, and many more talented artisans.

This vs That, MCF Style!

2011-08-18T17:49:00.000-07:00

This vs That is a comparison of goodies you could buy at a chain retail store versus the handmade counterpart. This edition is doing the comparison up against my Military Circle of Friends (MCF) gang.

Hovering Agate necklace by Anthropologie $38

Amethyst Amulet by Winddancer Designs $39

Personally I like the necklace by Winddancer Designs better; there is a lot more detail and finishing touches, for practically the same price. Not to mention, I'd rather buy handmade.

Black and Creme Zebra Pouch from A Stones Throw $10

Pyramid Stud Clutch from The Gap $29.95

The above is a clutch from the Gap. Not only is the wristlet from A Stones Throw 20 bucks less expensive, but the fabric instead of PU (yuck, is right) makes it washable, for those times when your lipstick cap fall off, or if you have an isue with a pen getting loose.

Echo Newsboy Cap from Nordstrom's $35

White Buckle Newsgirl from Two Seaside Babes $37

Not only is the Two Seaside Babes hat made by a handcrafting artisan, but it is also 100% cotton (the Echo hat is an acrylic/nylon/spandex blend). And if you ask me the design looks sturdier and more complex than the Echo hat from Nordstrom's.

Where the 'Magic' Happens

2011-08-12T14:42:00.000-07:00

Sounds like an episode of 'Cribs', right?!? Well I'm not an aging rock star and this ain't that type of magic! This is where I turn coconut oils, beeswax, and soy wax, along with many other things to create the fabulous items of LilacAve.
We finally moved back into our house on Lilac Ave back in mid July. I had set up shop "sorta" in our smallest room, but last night my daughter decided she wanted the smaller cozier room, and I could have the bigger room. This room will double as a guest room when we have people, so it does have a full sized bed in it....which I think will likely serve as a dog bed for my assistant, Bear. But the rest of the 12' by 14' room is mine.
What actually worked out well, is I tried to use every excess piece of furniture and repurposing it versus buying bookshelves and 'new' things. As a military family, we move all the time, and it seems in the past we've always needed to buy and sell things to work in whatever new space we have. This time not only were finances a constraint, but I was tired of being wasteful. So I thought I would share some of the ways this space was repurposed.

The green folding rack was originally bought as an easy fold and go display for craft shows. In its off season I used it for its intended use as a plant stand. Here it works great at holding my fragrance oils, microwave and soy wax. I *would have* likely bought a microwave cart for this. So using this plant stand instead actually saved me $50-150

This white bookcase we have used for actually several moves. It was a black color, but I love it in this white color. It will be holding all my finished product. Saved me $75-100 (granted this wasn't a repurpose, just a reuse).
The table is actually my utility table for craft shows. Underneath it is all my packing materials, and on top will be my actual work space for setting candles, soaps, etc.
Here is a sewing station. The white cabinet we inherited from our renters. They left this over the toilet cabinet in our master bath. Instead of ditching it to the curb, I thought I could use it for extra storage. I am thinking during Craft show season, I will have my husband saw off the legs, and I will use it as a table top display. This saved me $50. Right now it holds my boxes I use for tarts, tealights, and soaps. The folding table was also painted white from black. I bought it from TJ Maxx about 4 yrs ago, and let me tell you, there is nothing as versatile as a large folding table. It has been everything from a TV stand, craft table display, computer desk and more.

Inside the closet I have little closetmaid shelves that were bought for a craft show set up that didn't work so well. They've also been used for toy bin storage for my kids, and closet organizers. Right now they are working fantastic as my glass storage. I sure am glad we lugged these around and even kept them when we were not using them. They are $15/ea, so these 4 would've costed $60-$80 brand new.

So the good news is, the less money I spend on my office, the more money I can spend bringing new products to you!
And even though this room was originally supposed to be my daughter's....I'm kind of diggin her 'Cozumel' Teal choice for the walls....I feel so exotic in there!

Has a Fundraiser Ever Smelt so Good!

2011-08-06T16:39:00.000-07:00

As some/many of you know, my husband is in the Navy. And as some of you know, he just found out he is a Chief Selectee. Chief is a pretty big deal in the Navy.....my husband could tell you the heritage, as that is something he is supposed to know in the next 6 weeks before he gets pinned "Chief". All I know, is it's a big deal, and in the next 6 weeks he has to do a lot of stuff to prove he is worthy.
One of the things Chief Selectees have to do, is fundraise. Well, unfortunately for my husband he will be out to sea doing, who knows what, for 1/2 of the time period he is supposed to be raising money. I figured I could come up with an idea, and a means to help him.
So here it is. I will be doing a candle fundraiser for the month of August. You can pick any scent you'd like from the below list for your candle. The candle will be $10, with $5 Shipping (no shipping for locals of course!). I am so generous that all $10 will go to those selectees towards their fundraising efforts.

This one is scented Oatmeal Honey Almond

The candles are 9oz and ina glass tumbler, with a USN sticker adhered to the side. After your candle FINALLY burns out (should last 40-50hrs), you can clean out the glass tumbler with hot water, soap and a rag, and you'll have a great little glass piece to do anything you like with. And of course my everlasting love, that you helped not only support my husband, but all the selectees, the US Navy, and America (doesn't that sound patriotic!).

Here is an Etsy Listing for this item. Chief Selectee Fundraiser Candle. You can purchase via Etsy, or from my Facebook page. If you purchase via Etsy please put your scent choice in the comments. If you are local, and don't want to pay the $5 shipping, please contact me via my Facebook page or via comment here.

Scent List:
Bayberry
Blueberry Cobbler
Clothesline
Cucumber Mint
Gardenia
Ginger Peach
Green Apple
Lavender
Lavender&Peppermint
Lavender&Vanilla
Lemongrass
Lemongrass&Vanilla
Lemon&Lavender
Mandarin & Coriander
Oatmeal Honey Almond
Pearberry
Peppermint
Peppermint & Vanilla
Pumpkin Souffle
Vanilla Bean
White Peach and Hibiscus

Lessons Learned from Summer 2011

2011-07-26T08:11:00.000-07:00

I need to make a mental note to look back at this post, come April/May of 2012. I know that summer is not yet over. School starts up here 6 weeks from today. We have been on summer break for 10 weeks now. So I think I've experienced enough to reflect on some lessons learned in business, life, and summers as a work at home Mom.

Business is not fractionally slower, it is DEAD. I had mistakenly thought, that summer sales would be 33%, maybe 50% less than my sales tend so far for 2011. This was NOT the case. I found it is not a % less. There seems to be a glass ceiling. For instance, let's say my average sales in 2010 were $500/mo, and in summer went to $330. My business instincts were preparing for, if average sales were $1500/mo, that they would become $1000/mo. When in reality....they were still $330 (numbers not exact, just explaining a point). So next year, instead of completely stressing out about it, and instead of having multiple failure sales and promos, just ride the wave...accept it will be slow and just "Let it Be".
See above.....so instead, the kids are home, let's have FUN! At the beginning of summer, I had been freaking out hoping I could get the kids into camps, so I could work and keep the momentum going with the business. I pushed camp. Although my son enjoyed Lego Camp ($205), and my daughter loved Horse Camp ($245), they were both stressful. The driving back and forth, the jealousy's, the MONEY. Worse yet was me trying to pay for a Mon, Wed, Fri morning daycamp (Mom's day out type thing). Sounded good, but at $90/week for just 9hrs, and no sales coming in, it was STRESSFUL. It ended up costing me more than $90/wk, since the registration was $170 (all numbers are for both kids together, so $45/wk and $85/ea registration). This daycamp lasted 3 weeks before I realized we couldn't afford it, and the kids were not enjoying it. So in total we spent $890 to camp-ify summer. And it could've been spent better. How???
DO Buy all the memberships you can get your hands on! We bought a membership to the waterpark at Little Creek. It was $125 for the 3 of us, but would've been $15 a visit to go. The kids love it there, and it is a fairly relaxing 2hrs whenever we go. We got a membership to the Virginia Aquarium for $150...this one is great for days we need to stay indoors BUT get out of the house. We haven't gotten the chance to buy a membership for the Virginia Zoo yet, but it is $75 for military families. Also movies on base at Little Creek are $2/person. So with the $890 spent on camps for a total of 5 weeks, we could have gotten A waterpark, aquarium, zoo, and over 5 trips to the movies for just $500 (not to mention the beach is FREE)!!! We can also enjoy our YMCA membership during summer, kids using the interactive zone while I work out and just a swim in their pool...at $88/mo it is a bit...but even adding that in to the $500, we still come out cheaper than the camps. Plus YMCA offers a free parents night out for members. And since we don't need to worry about business too much (see #1) then we could just sit back and enjoy. The kids will only be kids once!

At the Virginia Aquarium

YMCA Mt. Trashmore

Little Creek Water Park

Beach on Dam Neck military base

And the winner is........................

2011-07-22T07:20:00.000-07:00

So who is #8...look at the 8th comment down! It's:
Beth Thompson!!!!

Congrats Beth!

Happy Anniversary!!!!

2011-07-21T08:31:00.000-07:00

Our 1st item sold!

Here we are at our 3rd Anniversary for LilacAve. I like to tell people just starting out, how when I started LilacAve, my dream was to sell an 2 items a week. I thought that would make me happy. since then, we've grown to be an income for my family, and that has been a huge gift and a reward. The journey has not been without challenges, but it has been quite a ride. Cheers to continued growth and always raising the bar a little higher.

To celebrate making it this farm we have been celebrating! Here is the last of the 3 celebrations!!!

GIVEAWAY!!!!!

Entering is super duper simple! Just post on this blog, your 3 favorite things about LilacAve. It could be a product, it could be something about the values of the company, it could be you like my hair....whatever. Just name the 3 things you like best! Tomorrow morning a winner will be picked, and they will get a FREE 3 month Scent of the Month membership!!!!

What is the Scent of the Month membership. The 1st week of every month, you get to sample the scent of the month, by receiving:
(1) .6oz Soy Tart
(2) tea lights
(1) 1oz Body Butter
(1) 1oz Bath Salt

Who, What, Where, When, is the MCF Auction?

2011-07-16T06:13:00.000-07:00

Back in Spring of 2008, I was a newbie on Etsy, and my bud Kristin, aka Moose Threads, convinced me to join an Etsy team of Military spouses. This team was so amazing. Not only did they give me business advice, but they were there for me while my husband was deployed. I will never forget all our chats and fun and support. We built long lasting friendships. Some of these friendships so strong, that I have and they have gone out of their way for us to meet in person. And with everyone I have met, we have talked non-stop for hours. Never had I been involved with a group so diverse in religion, backgrounds, politics etc, that were so respectful, and non-caddy in a group.
Well, as times change, so did that Etsy team. So did we...as many of us now have sites off Etsy, no longer have shops, etc. But we still have our friendships. So recently we created a group on Facebook where we can chat and stay in touch. This evolved to also include a business page, where we could help promote each other, whether our shops have their own websites, whether we sell predominantly on Facebook, or even if we just have some great stuff to share.
To kick off this military friends page, we thought why not have an auction. So many of us do similar things on our business pages individually, that we thought having one as a group, and introducing our clientele to our favorite shops, would be fabulous! I can vouch for every participant. Not only are they fabulous artisans, but they are also some pretty awesome women!
I invite you to like our fan page. And please attend the auction, sometime between 8pm and midnight EST tomorrow (Sunday). Even if you don't bid (although bidding ends at midnight EST), please just come to see this fantastic sampling of items from this group. You won't be sorry!!!!

MCF 1st EVER Auction
Sunday July 17th
8pm-Midnight EST
Direct Link http://www.facebook.com/#!/event.php?eid=231464313550995

Some of the fabulous shops participating:
www.Facebook.com/LilacAve
www.Facebook.com/Memoriestoyou
www.Facebook.com/TwoSeasideBabes
www.Facebook.com/DancingBearsTeaHouse
www.Facebook.com/BadCatJewelry
www.Facebook.com/wanderingwhimsies
http://www.facebook.com/ReynaRed

Not Absolute: A Vegan-ish Story Update

2011-07-04T07:52:00.000-07:00

Merriam Webster defines Absolute as a : free from imperfection : perfect b : free or relatively free from mixture : pure

I can tell you this, it has been 5 weeks since I decided to try leaning towards vegan. Prior to that, I wasn't even a vegetarian...probably the closest description was somewhat 'clean eating'...i.e tried to eat organic fruits and veggies, and grass fed, no hormone meat, etc. So it was a big change. And I *knew* it was never my expectation to change overnight.
I can claim that I am pretty much a full fledged vegetarian. I have had meat twice in that 5 week period, and oh boy, it is no longer for me. Not only was it not enjoyable...but it made my stomach sick. And what I thought particularly interesting, is I wouldn't wake up hungry. Why? Probably because my body was still digesting the meat. In my mind, a little gross to think about.
I have been able to get used to coffee with soy milk (if I get soy creamer from Trader Joe's even better). I have had soy lattes from Starbucks. I have had vegan frozen yogurt from a local chain called "The Skinny Dip". I even had a fabulous vegan pizza from "ZPizza".

This being said, I do not claim to be "vegan". I do order cheese pizzas, I have had milk, when we are out of Soy, and yes, I have been known to sprinkle milk chocolate chips on my vegan ice cream. However, the way I am currently seeing it, is that in 5 weeks, I have been able to NOT eat about 68 servings of meat (would've been 70 except for those 2 meat occasions). I have also drastically lowered my consumption of dairy, even if it is not completely phased out.
I think there is an expectation from our society, that if you are trying something like this it needs to be all or nothing. I feel like I am just trying to do better when I can, and maybe with time some of the other things will follow suit. I have to say, living in a more trendy area (Virginia Beach vs Rural Southeast Georgia) has made it alot easier, as restaurants offer choices. And although weight hasn't "melted" off as Kathy Freston says in her book. I am 1lb down from 5 weeks ago. This may not sound like much. But when you consider the 10lb gain in a month I had last time, I tested the vegan waters, I'd say I am doing pretty well. And regardless of weight, I feel like I get to try more adventurous food choices than before (like the Skinny Dip offers 1 Vegan flavor, so the other day I had Peach flavored..because that was the choice...why not). I feel lighter. My skin seems a bit clearer (although not today....used sunscreen on my face yesterday and so there is an uprising!!).

5 Tips for Opening an Etsy Shop

2011-06-27T04:27:00.000-07:00

Want to open an Etsy shop? Here are 5 tips to get you started. Etsians.....I'd love you to comment on any more tips you have!

#1. At least 30 items, but the more the better. I'm currently at 207, but when the bath line comes out, that may double. Think of it like if you walked into a store, would just a few items likely have exactly what you are looking for? What about if there was a whole table? A whole store?
Keep in mind this is not Ebay, where there is a ton of traffic and easy to sell, at cheap prices.
Having listings is MORE than just on an item of interest, get into your shop, and buy something totally different.

#2. List and/or renew regularly. By regularly, I mean daily. So when you are about to open, if you have 10 items to list, you may want to list 5 right away, and then list 1 item a day after that. Again, it puts you to the top of the search and gives a doorway to your shop.

#3. Photos are SUPER important. Remember you are selling a buying experience, not just the item. Etsy tends to like light colored backgrounds.Taking pictures in a place in your home that gets natural light, on a partly coudy day, is what works best for my camera. Some people need it really sunny, others need to actually go outside, some use a light box. With your camera turn the micro on (the flower sign), flash off, and take the photo. Use photo editing software and mess with the contrast and brightness until you feel it looks fresh. It doesn't cost money to use all 5 of the pics in your listing, so use them all if you like (closeups, side view, art photo).
I don't recommend a dark background, white, bright, or colored is best. Think of what you are selling, and the feel of your shop. Set the stage for that "feel".

#4. Have a facebook or twitter page for your business. Invite your friends and ask them to invite their friends. You can use it as a free prmotional tool when you list something new, want to have a sale, or whatever.

#5. When you can, product branding can help (i.e. avatars, logos, banner), you can still sell without it, but it does set the stage for your shop.

What's Beautiful About Military Life

2011-06-25T06:42:00.000-07:00

In our military life, we've lived in Georgia (twice), Hawaii (twice), Washington, and Virginia (second time around right now). I have found that there is some good in every place, and some bad (although some moreso than others); And you must concentrate on the good to be happy and survive.
Well, about a month ago, we moved back to Virginia. For those that don't know, we own our house here, and are currently working on it to make it ready for us to move our stuff in (pics will be in a blog post in the future).
Last night we were over at our house, visiting with the inlaws who are here to help, and to work a little more on the yard, and discuss more work to be done. And last night, the fireflies were out. My son caught one in his hand and we all watched as they would glow and go dark, and glow some more. To me it was magical.

Our neighborhood although in Virginia, reminds me a lot of the house I grew up in, in Rivervale, New Jersey. There were fireflies there too. A mix of all sorts of houses, big and small, brick and siding, no sidewalks, and tall trees making a canopy over the neighborhood.
As my children were in awe of the fireflies, and enjoyed the summer air (and the mosquitos), it felt like we have been able to give them a piece of my own childhood.
Then in the car on the drive back to the house we are temporarily staying in, the CD played, "Somewhere over the Rainbow" by Israel "IZ" Kamakawiwoʻole. The kids were talking about how it reminds them of Hawaii. My daughter talked about how her teacher would play the Ukelele for them, and we could go to the beach every day. We talked about our adventures and memories there.

I realized in that moment how beautiful this life we are giving them is. They get to carry the good parts of our past, have adventures that not everyone gets to have. When they are older and look back, maybe it won't just be the lapses of time without their Dad, or the leaving friends in different places as we move....maybe it'll be of lightning bugs, beaches, ukeleles, walks in the summer night, and love.

Why Buy Handmade?

2011-06-23T07:23:00.000-07:00

to see details about this embroidery stitch or learn more about the movie Handmade Nation, click image.

I have been crafting for "business" for almost 3yrs now. I think I am so far entrenched in Handmade, Etsy, and small businesses that I think EVERYONE sees it like I do. Then I have to stop and remind myself, that not everyone knows what Etsy is, not everyone sees the modern version of handmade. So here are my thoughts.

I'm not saying I never shop at Walmart (although it does make my skin crawl) or that I don't love Target and other mass marketers. there is definitely things there that are not available from online handmade artists (Legos); And I know they rely on the dollars of patrons as well, but there is a huge differences.

#1. As a seller, I know this, and from all the sellers I am friends with, I know this....a sale can make our day. If you decided to go to Walmart and buy a purse, or a hat, or a candle...it probably is just a drop in the bucket. In ways it really would make no difference. There are many many sellers on Etsy (and other handmade venues) that when you buy an item in their shop, they jump up and down, they smile, they scream and shout, they tell all their friends "I MADE A SALE". We celebrate when we hit 100 sales, we celebrate at 500, 600, 1000. Every sale is appreciated. When I buy from a fellow handmade, small business entrepreneur, I'm not just getting an awesome, unique, well crafted item...I get the inner satisfaction of knowing that my buy brought happiness to the seller, and made a difference in their life. And I am not the only one...check out why this blogger loves buying handmade...especially LilacAve ;) http://www.differentshadesofgreen.com/2011/06/things-i-love-lilac-ave.html

BTW, this is not just for online handmade businesses. Shop Local!!! We want to support them.

#2. Customer Service. I mean really, these days, even in these hard times, I find decent customer service is hard to find. No one wants to thank you (if they do,l it is a not so sincere, monotone, scripted "Thank you, have a nice day"). Small businesses are obsessed with their businesses and making them work. Their thanks is a sincere "THANK YOU for choosing ME!". Usually their appreciation is shown in little touches of great customer service, like courteous replies, apologies when things go wrong, and the motivation to fix it, little gifts, handwritten notes, careful packaging.

20 Questions with BeckyZ Photography

2011-06-19T16:44:00.000-07:00

Becky Zeugin is one of my oldest friends. I first met her at an Elementary school playground in 3rd grade. We became BFF's for years; through hair bands, 1st concerts, 1st kisses, 1st loves, 1st broken hearts.

Becky was not a photographer, back in our previous life, but when I saw her recent works, I was jaw droppingly in awe. "My Becky" turned into such an incredible talent. I am so proud of her, and a huge fan of her work. I'm sure you will be too. So here it goes...let's get to know her!

1. Your favorite color: teal

2. Dream Vacation: anywhere tropical

3. Favorite movie: Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

4. Favorite Artist: Kelley Ryden http://kelleyryden.com/blog

5. Best Advice EVER? Do what you love, don’t follow money –my dad

6. Motto: Dare to dream and dream BIG

7. Like Pets? YES! I have two doggies and a cat

8. Lifechanging Event: the birth of my children and my nephews

9. Your Best Trait: Patience (although my children test how strong it is on a daily basis!)

10. Your Flaw: I lack organizational skills – big time!

11. What craft do you wish you could do? Knit – I will teach myself to do it one of these days.

12. Favorite Season: Spring, I love a good Texas thunderstorm!

13. Favorite Holiday: Thanksgiving – I love to eat!

14. Boots, Sneakers, Flip flops, Heels, Mary Jane’s or Barefoot? Fip-flops

15. Favorite Treat: Grande Peppermint Mocha Frappuccino

16. Most recent item added to your Favorites: http://www.etsy.com/listing/65577831/ready-to-ship-chunky-newborn-cap

17. Blog? http://www.beckyzphotography.com/blog

18. Facebook? http://www.facebook.com/BeckyZPhotography

19. Twitter? http://www.Twitter.com/BeckyZPhoto

20. Shop?

Can't help but share some more with you!!!!

20 Questions with Laura Evans Photography

2011-06-17T04:51:00.000-07:00

I've long been an admirer of Laura Evans Photography. Her Style is gorgeous and recognizeable. Amazing portraits as well as amazing art prints!

I thought, it would be interesting to see what this Brit, and fellow Military Spouse has to say, in her 20 questions!

1. Your favorite color: green in various shades, right now i'm loving lime green but also a fan of mint green

2. Dream Vacation: vietnam, cambodia, laos & the camera ... but anywhere i can escape, i love being in the south of france, & california is amazing.

3. Favorite movie: top gun ... I am a dork i know

4. Favorite Artist: I don't have one, but at the moment eric church is pretty high up

5. Best Advice EVER? don't cry that it's over ... smile because it happened

6. Motto: love laugh believe

7. Like Pets? i have a husband & 2 kitties i'm a little obsessed with

8. Lifechanging Event: there have been a few but marrying my husband is pretty high ... oh yeah & getting pregnant Since this originally posted, Laura is now Mama, to a gorgeous baby boy!

9. Your Best Trait: Come on Laura...you can't leave this blank! I'll state the obvious....you are a talented photogapher, and you have a sincere and beautiful spirit!

10. Your Flaw: stubborn, argumentative ... the list is endless

11. What craft do you wish you could do? printing of all kinds

12. Favorite Season: the next one

13. Favorite Holiday: i'm not sure i have one

14. Boots, Sneakers, Flip flops, Heels, Mary Jane’s or Barefoot? flip flops

15. Favorite Treat: a night to myself

16. Most recent item added to your Favorites:

http://www.etsy.com/listing/59801285/olindo-tha-whale-handmade-in-italy

17. Blog? www.lauraevansphotography.blogspot.com

18. Facebook? http://www.facebook.com/pages/Laura-Evans-Photography/81776348168?v=wall

19. Twitter? http://twitter.com/levansphoto

20. Shop? http://www.levansphotography.etsy.com
http://www.oohprettyshiny.etsy.com/

Nothing Died...a Vegan-ish Update

2011-06-15T08:37:00.000-07:00

I have to say this journey is teaching me about myself...some things that I have learned; Some wins, losses, realizations.

I have conquered vegan coffee. I'm having coffee with soy creamer and Stevia. I think this was more of an aquired taste...not finding the "solution".
I can do vegetarian pretty easy. Vegan is still a challenge. But I'm leaning.
Speaking of leaning....I realized I hadn't been letting myself lean. I was outright trying to say no "X"...and going from an American diet, to vegan overnight, and that is a bit of a challenge. I realized I can't let myself be black and white...I need to let myself have the gray areas and that's ok. My nature tends to see a goal and work to get to that goal fastest. I forget all I had previously said...that I was just going to be concious, and if I thought I could get by without the dairy, I would, and where I still really wanted it I would...and without guilt.
Last night, after evaluating the above, and reading in Kathy Freston's book, "Veganist", its ok to take it step by step...and a good first step is just to cut out birds (chicken, turkey, etc). I thought, I may get a burger while we are out to dinner. After we got there, I realized I din't want to. We were at Red Robin, and there, they will substitute the meat in any burger for a Boca Burger or a Veggie Burger. I ordered my old favorite, a Whisky BBQ Burger, with a Veggie Burger instead of meat. This burger granted is not the healthiest choice on the block. And it has cheese which is what makes my version vegetarian but not vegan. However, can I tell you....it was delicious, and tasted no different to me than the old favorite. And Normally, I can taste a veggie burger (I like veggie burgers, but they cannot be mistaken for a burger). P.S. I also had their sweet potato fries, yumm.
If you recall, as much of an animal lover as I am, this was more about health, and more about what I had been reading meat can do to the human body, and the added saturated fats, etc. Well, what is interesting, last night I was willing to throw that out the window and having a burger. And I didn't....and I felt happy that Nothing died for my meal. So maybe it is a little about that.
Right now, I am content being a vegetarian. And I am trying not to set too many rules on being vegan. I am totally down with having a burrito with no sour cream and no cheese (must have guac though). I am ok with Vegan ice cream. I am ok with Vegan lattes and coffee. I am ok with not snacking on chunks of cheese. I'm ok with making smoothies without yogurt and just soy or rice milk. Not sure I can avoid ranch dressing, cheese pizza, or cheese on my burger yet. But I think I am leaning in just fine, thank you....and trying oh so hard, not to feel guilty for the things I haven't given up yet.
I would like to say, I have an ax to grind with Kathy. If you remember I said last time I tried vegan I gained weight. This time I am doing better....but my weight is just maintaining. I would just like to say, although this is about health....not weight loss, it is still so hard for someone who struggles as I do to read over and over and over in a book, how the weight will just melt off without even trying and without counting calories. I find this to be completely untrue. Granted....again, I have not been a perfect vegan. but given in the last 2 1/2 weeks, I have given up meat, and reduced my dairy intake by more than half...I would think, if her addage is true, something would be lost.

Etsy versus My Own .com

2011-06-14T05:39:00.000-07:00

Recently, I had 2 polls on this blog. One of them pertained to my website www.LilacAve.com. In that poll, about 30% of those answering said they feel more comfortable shopping on Etsy. I had a hunch this was true. After chatting with a friend of mine, she said maybe I should point out some things, so folks feel more comfortable.

You may wonder why, as fabulous as Etsy is, a shop would want to branch out to their own .com. Well there are several answers.

Would it surprise you to know, around 9-11% of the sales, at LilacAve go to etsy? Now don't get me wrong. I love Etsy and the service they give me is worthwhile, I could never complain about the exposure and traffic they've helped me get....they are why LilacAve is here! But if I were able to make the same sales through my site, that number would be more like 1-2%. Granted this is ignorant to paypal or Google checkout fees, which are unavoidable. I would like to think if there were less fees that money could be reinvested into more products, more research, better promotions, and marketing better.
For me, a big reason why I was gung ho, is remember 1000 markets? If not, here is the cliff notes. 1000 Markets was a handmade shopping site, like Etsy, but it was juried. I think it was a Monday they announced they had sold it, and by Friday the site no longer existed, as it was bought by Bonanza, which is not a handmade site. What is to say one day Etsy is not sold to Ebay? What if it changes, and drastically affecting my business? I need to not have all my eggs in one basket. And I don't see Zibbet, Artfire, or any of the zillion others being an advantageous fall back to Etsy.
Control is another biggie. I know this is true for many of us, starting our own .coms. If you don't know...on Etsy you are limited to 10 categories, and each item can only be in 1 category. So for instance my "Tart of the Month" listing is under 'Special Listings'...I cannot also put it under 'Tarts'. Or recently I was asked if I could set up my shop by scent. Not only would I be limited by the 10 categories...but I could not have a Bath Salt under both Categories, 'Bath Salt' and 'Lavender' for instance. Having your own .com can allow you to do these things. This does not even begin to get into, the control over the look and feel in entirety of your own webpage.

Now here are the things, that I'm thinkin', are why you have the comfort level with Etsy.

I think you may feel like Etsy will provide you buyer protection. This is actually not true. If you have an issue with a seller, Etsy will not step in. However, if you paid with Paypal...they will! Paypal would also step in if you need protection while buying from a .com and paying with paypal. So no worries there!
On Etsy you can see the sales number and Feedback. I get this one...I do! I know I do not have a ticker on my site showing my sales. However, some food for thought may be....websites are not cheap. I recently spent $200 to get mine set up the way I wanted, and much more if you consider the time I put into it, and the monthly fee. I wouldn't do this if I wasn't serious about my business. Also websites like Amazon.com, Overstock.com and others don't have sales tickers, yet there is not a physical place to walk into to complain if things go wrong. Small Handmade businesses may not have the mass merchant allure in protection...but I know so many of these sellers, and we are just struggling to get our footing as small businesses. We want to grow, we want to stand on our own 2 feet one day. And of all the ones I know, we care more about great customer service than these big guys do! It's personal pride in our work! Not to mention I know a couple folks that actually sell better on their .com than Etsy, so their Etsy numbers are actually deceiving.

Are there other things that hold you back?
I'm not trying to sway you from buying on Etsy. I love Etsy, I buy on Etsy all the time. All I'm saying is if you've ever bought from a seller or are a fan on their Facebook page...consider checking out their .com next time around. Take the leap!

Here are some sites of people I know are on Etsy, but also have their own .com:
Lilac Ave
www.LilacAve.com
www.LilacAve.etsy.com
Two Seaside Babes
www.TwoSeasideBabes.com
www.TwoSeasideBabes.etsy.com
DB Designs Jewelry
www.dbdesignsjewelry.com
www.dbdesigned.etsy.com
Geek Details
www.geekdetails.com

20 Questions with Ahoy Graphics

2011-06-13T17:59:00.000-07:00

Today's 20 Questions, is with the fabulous Kristen Hodges of Ahoy Graphics. I met Kristen through the Homefront Team, but was so thrilled to meet her in person, and be on the HRAST Team with her (lovingly we referred to it as "Harrassed"...but really the Hampton roads Artisans Street Team).

She is a lovely person....seriously, 'lovely', all inclusively describes her. Her craftsmanship is meticulous and she has a very strong hard working ethic, and just such a sweet and generous person.

When I met her, she had a gorgeous album shop, called Fly Leaf Designs, and then she had created a new venture called Pins and Paper. However, leaving those behind and delving into her passion for logos, marketing, and design, she is now a butterfly, as Ahoy Graphics. She is responsible for my logo and worked with me on my branding. It was a wonderful experience, she was very flexible, and very professional. I highly recommend her! PLUS, she is a fellow Navy wife, so what can you do!

1. Your favorite color:

Pool Blue + Eggplant Purple {so hard to choose just one!}

2. Dream Vacation:

Italy

3. Favorite movie:

Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy

4. Favorite Artist:

Cesar Chevaz {I love Hispanic Art!}

5. Best Advice EVER?

Belief determines your destination, behavior determines your compensation.

6. Motto:

Mean what you say and say what you mean.

7. Like Pets?

LOVE! Parson Russell Terriers in particular

8. Lifechanging Event:

Corey joining the Navy—what a huge change this lifestyle was for us.

9. Your Best Trait:

Organization

10. Your Flaw:

Being a doormat when I become too much of a people pleaser

11. What craft do you wish you could do?

Bookbinding

12. Favorite Season:

Autumn

13. Favorite Holiday:

4th of July—boating, swimming, picnic-ing, and lots of loud music on the Tennessee River with family and friends, can't beat that...

14. Boots, Sneakers, Flip flops, Heels, Mary Jane’s or Barefoot?

Flip Flops

15. Favorite Treat:

Berries dipped in a bowl of sugar!

16. Most recent item added to your Favorites:

Personalized hangers for a baby shower gift

17. Blog?

I write a blog for my shop: Sell More with Design 101. It relates to Design, Branding, Community, and Marketing. www.ahoygraphics.com/category/sell-more-101/

18. Facebook?

Yep! www.facebook.com/ahoygraphics

19. Twitter?

And double yep! www.twitter.com/ahoygraphics

20. Shop?

I have a little shop on Etsy for my design work: www.ahoygraphics.etsy.com/

Some Examples!

20 Questions with Susan Sabo Photography

2011-06-11T07:43:00.001-07:00

Recently I was cruisin my Activity feed on Etsy. I noticed my friend Robin (aka CreationsAnew), had favorited this shop, SusanSaboPhotography. I like Robin, am a dog lover. I saw the BEST dog photos EVER! I had to look more. Then I saw that some photos were of shelter dogs, and the sale benefitted these poor sweet pooches. I was sold, hook, line, and sinker for this fabulous shop. The only disap[pointment, in that, she lives on the other side of the country, so she can't do some portraits of my dog, Bear.
I knew I had to know more about the mastermind behind it. And I HAD to share her, with everyone I knew! Here she is.....Susan Sabo.

1. Your favorite color:
hands down blue.
2. Dream Vacation:
a trip to the Artic Circle. I want to actually step inside the circle.
3. Favorite movie:
"Halloween" (1978 version)
4. Favorite Artist:
Bob Dylan
5. Best Advice EVER?
that I've received? "always know who you're talking to"
that I've given? "always know who you're talking to."
6. Motto:
It's not Christmas till somebody cries.
7. Like Pets?
omg, are you kidding? i've had every kind of pet you can image. I'm a dog person. have lots of dog-related tattoos; collect dog art; I shoot for free for local rescues and shelters and I'm all about adopting and saving a life.

8. Lifechanging Event:
My dog, Stiggy's death.
9. Your Best Trait:
My independence.
10. Your Flaw:
self-criticism.
11. What craft do you wish you could do?
sculpture with metals and welding.
12. Favorite Season:
summer
13. Favorite Holiday:
Halloween
14. Boots, Sneakers, Flip flops, Heels, Mary Janes or Barefoot?
barefoot
15. Favorite Treat:
vegan cupcake made by my daughter, Jenna.
16. Most recent item added to your Favorites:
a t-shirt with a camera on it.

17. Blog?
same as my site: http://www.susansabophotography.com
18. Facebook?
http://facebook.com/susansabophotography
19. Twitter?
susansabophoto or smalldogs
20. Shop?
http://etsy.com/susansabophotography

2011-06-10T06:29:00.000-07:00

I had directed a friend to my blog yesterday, to show her pictures of my pets. She ended up reading on and found a 2 year old post on my son, who has Autism. I re-read it this morning, and realized so much has happened in the last 2 years, and I wanted to share some pin points of happenings and what I learned.

I understand Autism Awareness, and feel there should be therapies to help make these kids cope better....but I struggle with the idea of a "cure". Granted Ethan is High Functioning, but I think I'd rather help him deal with his emotions without taking away the most incredible lines of thought he has. Ethan is brilliant. He only has to see something once, and he remembers it. He wonders how it works, and comes up with theories and ideas...way more out of the box than a typical 9yr old.
There are situations to avoid and situations to encourage. Ethan still does not do well in chaotic, not well supervised environments. Lunch lines, buses, gym class, field trips, daycare. So Ethan does not go to daycare...this is why I have LilacAve. I drive him to school...which actually gives us time to chat. I will chaperone field trips. Can't do much about gym or lunch lines....but helping what I can helps both of us.
I could care less what anyone thinks in public. I know for many this is a huge struggle. You have a normal looking kid, acting like a 3yr old in a store or a restaurant. You know what, stare all you want, think I am a bad parent...you have no idea, and your opinion doesn't matter to me, nearly as much as handling my kid and his triggers.
Thanks to a Doctor in Hawaii, for making me realize I am a good mom for Ethan. We went to a luau. I forgot this is the worst situation for Ethan. Crowded, weird food, loud, out of routine. He started to melt down. My Dad snapped at him. (this makes him melt down more, because he knows people are disappointed in him). Comments were made to me about my parenting. Talked about it at Ethan's therapy session. I explained all the things I should've done differently. I discussed what I thought was the triggers. Dr. Miller commended me for understanding my son so well. This lifted me up, while it was being incinuated at home by my father, that I was not tough enough on him.

Speaking of being tough. Hardest lesson learned.....stay calm!!!!! Nothing pushes him into more of a meltdown than yelling at him.
He can't take a joke. True story, we are cooking dinner, and he says "Is this what we are having for dinner?". Husband says, "Well its what me and mommy are having....not sure about you two." (said in sarcasm, as it is obvious, I was making dinner, and we always all eat it). Ethan starts to cry, that we are not feeding him dinner. This one is hard to break as me and the hubs are fluent in sarcasm.
Peer pressure does not work on him. He could care less if he makes a scene in class, in front of the neighborhood friends, or if "everyone is doing it". A blessing and a curse. Curious to see if this changes in time.
He is getting better in social situations, but still has a hard time not playing one sided (he tells you the game, and your place in it). He did however, make his very first bestie in Georgia. And the kid was the Alpha....Ethan would politely play along. So he is capable. We just have to harness it.
We can talk. He is better about trying to think through his feelings. Probably the most common thread in our house is, you have to tell us what's bothering you before we can fix it. He was melting down yesterday when his sister had friends over...it wasn't until later when he was calm, that it was all about the TV being too loud. But he never voiced that.
He has gone to the movies and Sea World and done great...these are places we never could have gone before.
Traveling is still a struggle, and moving transitions are still weird. Last move it was pooping in pants....since we moved back to Virginia, its insomnia. Hopefully the stability of not moving again, will iron out these issues.
He can empathize for his sister. When we were in Georgia and he was in therapy, he would get a prize while leaving. He always asked for one for his sister. He also worries about her if she's hurt. Not to say they don't have the normal sibling rivalries or competitiveness.

These are just snippets. But I'd like to say, at 9yrs old, I am no longer worried for Ethan. There are days he is still a struggle, but we deal. Most days he is an incredible mind, a sweet heart, and just a quirky, loveable kid.

20 Questions with Nice Girl Notes

2011-06-09T05:11:00.000-07:00

I'll admit it....I'm not usually a huge blog reader. I know, I know. I do read articles people recommend or found helpful, and I have a couple of friends that I follow, but otherwise, not really. Then I met Roo...

It started off with a note on my Facebook wall, asking me if I was interested in participating in the 1st Cute Stuff Sale. If you are an Artisan, you likely get requests for giveaways and reviews often, and they are usually kind of ho hum for business. But when she explained to me, basically she will just be selling my stuff...I just need to offer great prices and support her, then I figured, 'sure, why not'. That night was magical!!!! Rare is the day I can sell 10 items on my facebook page...and here she was with ease on hers.
After that we worked together to create a special event for military spouse artisans on the Homefront Team. During that time, not only did I get hooked on her blog, but I got to work with her as a partner, and have to say, what an incredible business partner she is. I love her to pieces. I love knowing her brain through her blog (you MUST read this post on Spanx). I love her spirit on entrepreneurialism (is that a word?). You seriously have no idea what you are missing, if you don't follow her on FB, and read her blog.
Here is her 20 questions!

1. Your favorite color: Without realizing it, I've decorated my house in shades of light blue, cream, and a little bit of red. So I'm guessing those. Ha!

2. Dream Vacation: Somewhere tropical with my husband and kids AND a nanny. Maybe two.

3. Favorite movie: Love any sort of action/comedy, and of course I pretty much love Reese Witherspoon in just about any romantic comedy she's in.

4. Favorite Artist: Currently my 2.5 year old. She's not just drawing scribbles any more.. and it's really fun to see how her brain works.

5. Best Advice EVER? Give generously, spend wisely

6. Motto: Because I'm in the throes of toddlerhood and general craziness right now? FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT.

7. Like Pets? I like dogs. Maybe when the kids are older.

8. Lifechanging Event: When Whole Foods opened near me. And when Starbucks offered their salted caramel hot chocolate. OH, jk? Getting married and having my kids?

9. Your Best Trait: Compassion? Sure, compassion!

10. Your Flaw: Dang, which one? I'm a perfectionist, which means I never get everything done. That's annoying. Also, I can't meal plan to save my life. But I'm working on it.

11. What craft do you wish you could do? Oh my gosh, I wish I could sew!

12. Favorite Season: Summer!

13. Favorite Holiday: Thanksgiving, because it's not about frantic gift giving. It's about frantic meal making. Hahaaa.. but I do love having the people I love around a table, breaking bread, and being grateful for what God's given us.

14. Boots, Sneakers, Flip flops, Heels, Mary Jane’s or Barefoot?: Flip flops for every day. Heels for nights out.

15. Favorite Treat: I can't keep nuts in the house due to my daughters' allergies, so anything with chocolate and peanut butter.

16. Most recent item added to your Favorites: Some chevron quilts.

17. Blog? www.nicegirlnotes.com

18. Facebook? www.facebook.com/nicegirlnotes <--WE HAVE SO MUCH FUN HERE

19. Twitter? www.twitter.com/nicegirlnotes

20. Shop? None. But I like all of yours!

Mango Avocado Salad

2011-06-08T13:00:00.000-07:00

So one morning I had Today with Hoda and KathieLee on, in the background.? Hoda was going on and on about this "salad" she can't get enough of.? It was Avocados, Mangos and a dressing.? No lettuce in this salad....which granted some salads are great...but you can really only have so much lettuce, and this was different.? And God knows I love Avocados.
So here is a recipe for a single setting (this with a little side, is enough to fill me for lunch).

1/2 Avocado, cut into little pieces (cubes, slivers...whatever floats your boat)
1/2 Mango, cut into little pieces

Then mix in a little dish:
1 tsp Balsamic Vinegar
1 tsp Lemon juice, Lime juice, or a combo of both
1 tsp Olive Oil

Stir it around, and then drizzle over the cut up mango and avocado.? There is your lunch!

20 Questions with Memories to You and Holds It

2011-06-08T04:03:00.000-07:00

I met Kim, online a little over a year ago. Since then she is my online"co-worker", a fellow military wife to go to, and a great source for business advice. Not only is she intelligent and savvy, but a fabulous handmade craftsman.
Kim is the proud creator and innovator behind two Etsy shops, Memories To You and Holds It. I have items I've purchased from both shops. They are perfection. She leaves no stone unturned in her master craftsmanship; Her finishing details are incredible.

So without ado, here is her 20 Questions:

1. Your favorite color:
Red

2. Dream Vacation:
A trip to Italy

3. Favorite movie:
I don't have any 1 movie that is a favorite. I love comedy and chick flicks. I rarely see Oscar winners!

4. Favorite Artist:
Honestly, I love Thomas Kincaid. His pictures make me smile and feel at peace.

5. Best Advice EVER?
Don't complain about the stuff you can change. But the best advice I give my son is "suck it up buttercup."

6. Motto:
I don't have one!

7. Like Pets?
Yep. I have two large, hairy dogs who were my babies before the baby came along.

8. Lifechanging Event:
I would have to say my mom's death. I was 22 and realized I wasn't as grown up as I thought I was. It was during that time I learned to stand up for what I want.

9. Your Best Trait:
My wit

10. Your Flaw:
I can be a tad bit judgmental.

11. What craft do you wish you could do?
I wish I could sew!

12. Favorite Season:
Summer

13. Favorite Holiday:
Easter

14. Boots, Sneakers, Flip flops, Heels, Mary Jane’s or Barefoot?
Hmmm. I'm barefoot at home all the time but when I leave the house it is usually in heels. Unless I'm going to the gym and then it is sneakers.

15. Favorite Treat:
Chocolate Cheesecake

16. Most recent item added to your Favorites:
These sexy corset cookies :-) http://www.etsy.com/listing/56429115/sexy-corset-cookies

17. Blog?
www.memoriestoyou.blogspot.com but I hardly ever update it.

18. Facebook?
www.facebook.com/memoriestoyou

19. Twitter?
www.Twitter.com/memoriestoyou

20. Shop?
www.memoriestoyou.etsy.com
or
www.holdsit.etsy.com

Criticism...Tips to Take

2011-06-07T16:56:00.000-07:00

Criticism is tough, whether you are giving it, or receiving it. While at a training seminar once they gave us detailed personality tests. Mine actually said, I gave criticism so subtle, that people did not even know they were getting criticized. I know I do not take criticism very well either.
I have to say my journey building my own business has changed that quite a bit. I'll be the first to say, as a small business owner of handmade goods, where I am the creative mind, the skilled labor, and the customer service, it is hard to seperate LilacAve from me, personally. So taking criticism does feel personal. However, what I have found, is after the shock of it wears off, there is often a lesson learned. This applies to both constructive criticism, and down and dirty criticism.
I think the problem is, when someone gives you advice or a critique it often makes us feel like maybe we are not as good as we thought we were (especially if you were not asking for the advice). I have learned, take some breaths, and listen. Often times there is value to what they are saying. Sometimes there absolutely isn't a value....and then you know what, it hurts less, after you've assessed it.
I am not saying that a criticism or advice is ALWAYS what you should follow. What I am saying, is you should listen to it. Digest it. And then decide about it. Don't just toss it away because your feelings were hurt; you could be missing something valuable.
I've gotten plenty of critcisms from strangers, friends, family, "co-workers", and I can say every one of them, has helped me decide what I WANT for my business, and what I don't, and it has brought me to where I am today. And I am POSITIVE, the criticism will live on, in the future as we mold and change some more.

20 questions with Two Seaside Babes

2011-06-06T10:40:00.000-07:00

I know so many incredible artisans. I thought why not play a little 20 questions with some of them.

Our 1st will be Jessi, from TwoSeasideBabes.

I've known Jessi for 2 1/2 yrs, and I am so impressed with her growth and her shop. I'm sure you want to know her too.

1. Your favorite color: Purple

2. Dream Vacation: Snowboarding in Alaska

3. Favorite movie: The Hurt Locker

4. Favorite Artist: Thomas Kinkade

5. Best Advice EVER? Never dream more than you work. Always believe that hard work will lead you to your dreams.

6. Motto: Think Big. Think Bold. Think Better.

7. Like Pets? Not at this point in my life. My kids are hard enough to clean up after.

8. Lifechanging Event: My Divorce. Like you didn't know this already.

9. Your Best Trait: My super duper likeable personality. You like me already, don't you? ;-)

10. Your Flaw: I don't have any flaws. Ok...well, maybe just a tiny one. I'm a slight bit of a control freak.

11. What craft do you wish you could do? Knit

12. Favorite Season: Autumn (coincidently my daughters middle name!)

13. Favorite Holiday: Christmas

14. Boots, Sneakers, Flip flops, Heels, Mary Jane’s or Barefoot? High Heel Boots...see I gotta be difficult right?

15. Favorite Treat:Chocolate. ANYTHING chocolate!

16. Most recent item added to your Favorites:

17. Blog? www.twoseasidebabes.blogspot.com/

18. Facebook? www.facebook.com/TwoSeasideBabes

19. Twitter? www.Twitter.com/TwoSeasideBabes

20. Shop? www.twoseasidebabes.com

My Favorites from her Shop!

Bathroom Renovation

2011-06-06T04:35:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite blogs belongs to an old Homefront hommie of mine. She has an awesome geekery shop, Geek Details, and is a fascinating gal. One of my favorite features on her blog is showing her home renovations and projects. I have some other blogger peeps, like Nice Girl Notes, that also time to time posts pictures of decorating or project tutorials. I figured, I may need to back track (blu-do do- dopp) back to the beginning of our home reno experiences. This, as we prepare to get settled back in to our beloved house on "Lilac Ave".
So here are the gory details. We bought the house about 7yrs ago. At the time it was a 3 bedroom 1 bath home in Chesapeake, Virginia. It had 1086sq ft, window AC units, and no real upgrades since it was built in 1962. The previous owners did take really great care of the property though, which is a major reason why we chose the cute little brick cottage.
Our very first project was the bathroom. There was 1 bathroom, and although now I can actually appreciate the retro-ness of it. The bath tub, and tiles needed to be replaced. Also one day while my parents were visiting, i asked my UN handyman Dad to check out the sink because it was clogging. Next thing we now, the pipe went into the wall and collapsed. Sooooo, it was maybe time to update a bit, and we were so stoked to do our first home project. Plus I wanted a deeper tub.

these are the befores.

Demolition

it ended up, we found the subfloor was rotted. So we needed to replace it.

We stripped it down to the studs (yep, that's my stud husband)

new tub, piping, and sub floor

new floor tiling

tiled shower

We put up white bead board and crown molding on the walls. We also put in a new vanity and sink.

I think if I recall, we spent between $2500 and $3000 on this project. ALOT thanks to my husband being so handy, and his friend Chance, that has experience in plumbing and welding pipes (the height of the spout, etc on the new tub was higher than in the old, and needed to be moved).

As is, with some home renovations, especially your 1st, you may see this one again in the coming year. This reno was done in 2005. Let's just say potty training my son, ruined the veneer on that vanity, and we need to go back and "de-fog" the floor tiles, since we did not wipe the grout well enough. Still...a dramatic update from the original.

Coming soon.....the kitchen renovation. The master suite addition, and anything to come after we settle back in.

Vegetarian...check. Vegan...getting there. PLUS Recipe

2011-06-05T16:00:00.000-07:00

It's been a week, before I decided to lean in to vegan-ish. I can honestly say, I have definitely a full fledged vegetarian for the last 7 days. Vegan...some days have been better than others. But definitely making progress. Here are a few pinpoints!

I successfully went to Outback, and ate vegetarian (even though, there is no entree on the menu for vegetarians...I get that it is a Steakhouse...but it is also a family restaurant). I had the salad...with ranch (I know ranch ain't vegan). I ordered a la cart a sweet potato and seasonal veggies. And yes, I used a fraction of the butter and brown sugar they brought me for the potato, and I am sure there was butter on the veggies...yes, not Vegan....but considering...DEFINITELY a lean in.
Went to Trader Joe's for the first time ever. Although I was able to get some things that seem like they will really help in the transition, I was surprised with how much they sell that is vegetarian, but not vegan. I did get a veggie roll up sandwich which is vegan, and tasty. And I thought the hummus I bought was perfection, until I realized it was not vegan (although only a tad bit, if there is such a thing). This was my realization....wow, this may be really hard...and I need to see about some recipes and snack options. Definitely more work, since you seem to have to make most of your items, to ensure nothing has been snuck in. HOWEVER, I would assume it makes it all the more healthy.

Also this week I read some more chapters in Kathy Freston's book "Veganist"....found the following, worth saying:

Even skinless roasted chicken breast...the leanest of the lean, has 20% of its calories from fat...29% saturated.
In the 20th century Americans have gone from eating 125lbs of meat per year to 200lbs. From 4lbs of cheese per year to 33lbs!
There are so many stories in there of how a vegan diet reversed bad health. It's ASTONISHING to me it isn't prescribed more, especially seeing as there are studies with data....it's not just a bunch of bru-ha-ha from environmentalists.

As a final note in the weeks progress, I started the couch to 5k program today. This program helps you to go from couch potato to begin running. The first run was painful, but one of the best workouts I've had in about a year and a half. Considering in the last year and a half, I've gained about 15 lbs, that says something.
BTW, as you read through all this. I want you to know this is truly a decision I am making for my health, and to change my lifestyle. This is not a 'diet' for me. Nonetheless, I think as I am sharing my story. You should know, I am currently 205lbs. 2yrs ago, I weighed 170, and was trying to lose weight then. I'll let you know, how I find this lifestyle effects those factors. By the way, some of you may still have your jaws to the ground, that I posted my obese weight in a blog. However, come on....if someone looks at me, and I were to say I weigh 150, they'd know I am lying. Who cares....I look the way I look.

And a recipe....

Tonight, I made some pasta pomodoro, as I'll call it. Super delicious.

ingredients:
pasta (I used Trader Joe's Garlic and Basil Linguine...but I've made it before with Barilla Plus & Ronzoni Smart Taste)
tomato, chopped
basil, sliced (I picked it from my garden, YAY me!)
garlic, chopped
Extra Virgin Olive Oil

Cook pasta. Meanwhile in a small skillet, saute all the other ingredients. when the pasta is ready, throw over the ingredients. I *can* specify measurements. But in all honesty, you can use as much or as little of all of those as you like.

My Reality of owning a Micro Business (Small Business)

2011-06-05T06:16:00.000-07:00

Lilac Ave was born nearly 3yrs ago. At the time, I needed something for me, beyond Navy wife, mother, housekeeper, cook, financial planner, etc. It was also obvious with all our moves, having a self contained job could be beneficial. It would be a dream to make an income out of LilacAve.

Well here we are almost 3yrs later, and LilacAve has exceeded my expectations, and continues to grow. It is exciting and still brings on the happy dances when sales are good. However, the other side of the coin is exhaustion and hard work. However, I suppose this fits into the "hurts so good" category...because I love being busy. I cannot explain the pride you have from building a business, LITERALLY by hand.
LilacAve was born when we lived on Lilac Ave in Virginia. We returned to Virginia just a few weeks ago. I still have lots of friends in the Hampton Roads area....and many ask "Will you return to your old job?". I usually respond that I cannot imagine leaving my business, I have to see how the story ends.
However, I thought the following thought processes could be interesting for those looking to have their own blossoming business, or for people curious about what goes into a handmade business. It comes to mind because I have thought about...."Would I want to return to a corporate environment again?". These questions came to mind, after I've established I am a business, and now what? What's the outlook not just next year, but in 10yrs, 20yrs.

So here it goes, from my point of view...the good, the bad, the ugly:
The great stuff!!

I LOVE being able to be creative. And I don't just mean, making things pretty. I mean molding a business. Needing to think of how to keep the bar going up, to add new things, to keep the momentum going. And guess what??? I can try any, all, some, none of my ideas. They don't need approval, they don't have to succeed.
I love having a flexible schedule. I can meet a friend for lunch, volunteer to chaperone a kids field trip, take them to the Doctor, and no one to worry about being mad, if I need to call in sick if my kid is sick. I remember honestly asking myself when I worked in an office, "Is he/shesick 'enough'?"...and then the guilt of asking myself that question would kick in.
I get to work in my pajamas. 'Nuff said.

The not so good.

I work EVERY single day. Granted this is my choice. There are some days I work more than others. However there is not one day, I am not answering emails, promoting, working on orders, etc. I can say, I probably work more hours than I did working full time, and there is no paid vacation. It is hard work.
I miss having co-workers. It was always nice to have daily adult conversation at lunch every day, friendships, and of course someone to help when the workload is heavy. Luckily, I may have some volunteers soon that can help me with some aspects of my business during super busy times (bring it on holiday, we'll be ready....bring it on!!!!!)
I do miss having a steady paycheck, no matter what. Yes, sometimes business exceeds my goal; but it is definitely not a consistent thing. Some weeks can be slammed, and others not. Sometimes I can change absolutely nothing in how I'm doing business, and there are no sales....even though I am promoting, even if i have a sale, even if I am giving away stuff. There is just no real control over how much or how little business, I get. All you can do is do what you can, and hope there is a follow through.
No matching 401K at LilacAve. Luckily, our medical is covered by my husbands military career. However, I wonder, if this business becomes my forever job....how long will I be doing it? Will I still be doing it 20yrs from now? 30yrs? When can I retire? Will i be contributing retirement pay for my husband and I? I can honestly say, all this was taken care of by my corporate career.

soybeans dreaming....weird that they don't dream of being a soy candle?!

I don't say this because I in any way, don't want to have my own business. I LOVE it. I love it like it is part of me. It IS part of me! I just say it, as there are things to think about. Truths about having a long term business, and the questions and thoughts that it may trigger.
I'm fully commited to figuring out some answers to the cons, but well knowing as business progresses, more questions will arise....but I plan to have the fortitude to surpass.

Eco Table Set Up

2011-06-03T04:37:00.000-07:00

We drink wine....I like my wine. I LOVE wine bottles. I think they are beautiful and it seems like there should be something to do with them other than toss them in the recycle bin. My husband wants to like set up rows of them as decor...to me it is too reminiscent of a college guys apartment with liquor bottles lined up on the top of the fridge as some sort of representation of how badass he is that he drinks hard liquor.
Anyway....I wrack my brain for ideas.

I saw something the other day that made me think of this.
I like to use photo stands at shows to categorize and price (i.e. sign would say, Lip Balms $3, or 2 for $5). But the itty bitty photo stands I have, tumble over when someone even touches the table. why not use a few wine bottles, maybe even fill them with some sand if needed, and use a cute clothespin to add the sign to the bottle opening.
We'll have to try it out at the Etsy Craft Party and see how it goes.

OMG, How Gross

2011-06-02T18:59:00.000-07:00

I swear this entire blog is not going to be about vegan eating. But I HAD to share.

So tonight....I'm exahusted. Mostly mentally. And it is hot as Hades outside, and what was planned for dinner????? My good Friend, Kristen's, 5 can chili (see her blog). I couldn't do it. I couldn't face it. So what did we do? Fell into an old habit and ordered pizza.
Now granted normally I like thin crust pizza...either the alfredo one, or just plain cheese...maybe a veggie. But the kids LOVE personal pan pizzas from Pizza Hut. So since we now live in civilization, where Pizza Hut will deliver...I ordered it. I ended up getting a medium pizza for the hubs and me. 1/2 Supreme for him, and 1/2 cheese for me. I know not vegan....but I wasn't ready to go there (although I am thoroughly intrigued, by a local pizza place that has organic pizzas, and advertises a vegan one....I think best, that my 1st vegan pizza experience be from a place like that vs pizza hut).
Anyhow, OMG it was so gross. The cheese was disgustingly thick. The crust so greasy. And my stomach hurts. I can't even explain how it hurts...it almost feels full, but crampy full...but it is not gas or indigestion....yet! And I have heartburn....which honestly, I hadn't had in the last 4 days, even though it HAD started to become fairly common for me.
So 3 things I bring away from this. #1 I'm amazed that in just 4 days, I have adjusted enough, that it was as gross as it was. #2 Lesson LEARNED...that is not "cheating" or "treating" myself, it is inedible! #3 WHY am I trying to use my body as a guinea pig. Just eat normal....don't try to test the boundaries of what you can get away with as a vegetarian or a vegan. Just eat what you know is right. Duh....didn't I learn that last time around?

And seriously, I'll have to think of something else to write about tomorrow. Maybe my France Fetish...maybe some Etsy Favorites, maybe my upcoming house projects, maybe how I plan to set up my table at the Etsy Craft Party.

Just a Few Vegan-ish Updates

2011-06-01T12:21:00.000-07:00

OK, so I've been pretty heavily leaning in to vegan-ish for 3 days. I feel much less tired, and I feel light.

If some of you recall, last time I tried to be vegan, I gained 10lbs in a month. I admittedly, ate a TON of bread and pasta, and made lots of delicious vegan desserts. This time around....ummm, I'm not doing that. I am taking things we are having for dinner, and altering mine to be vegan. Such as the burrito below. My kids and husband had it with morningstar farms mealstarters faux beef crumbles (with added chili powder and onions). They also had cheese and sour cream. I was surprised with how delicious it was...not because there was no meat (I prefer black beans over meat)...but without the dairy. I've also been trying to have lots of fruits and veggies over a huge carb fest...although to be clear I am not avoiding carbs.

Well because of the weight gain last time around, I did want to track my eating on www.sparkpeople.com. Guess what I have found? Without paying much attention, I'm getting 15-25% of my calories from protein. My calories have been reduced by 400-500 calories a day, without any hunger or feelings of deprivation. So far no cravings, and not really feeling "tempted", to be less "ish". I am still having cream in my coffee.

Here's my burrito:

ingredients:
Archer Farms Whole Wheat Tortilla (from Target)
Brown Rice
Cilantro
Lime
Rotel Tomatoes (canned)
Corn (canned)
Low Sodium Black Beans (canned)
Avocado
Garlic Powder

1. Put the Rotel, Corn (drained), and Black Beans in a pot. Cook until a boil. Stir, and then set to low.
2. Make some guacamole....do this by pitting the avocado and removing the peel. Drizzle some lime juice and shake some garlic powder on it. Mush it with a fork until you've got guacamole. Add more or less lime and garlic to your liking.
3. Cook some brown rice. After, add some lime juice to it. Also chop some cilantro and mix it in too.
4. Warm up the tortilla.
5. Load her up.

I was very proud of myself that the cilantro came from my own garden (I'm waiting on the tomatos and peppers to grow).
Also I tried just to load up the burrito with all the fixin's (my Texan streak coming out), so that I could be full from 1 burrito.

Becoming Vegan-ish

2011-05-30T08:56:00.000-07:00

So for about 9 months I've been really thinking about the idea of becoming a vegan. My bud is vegan, and between watching intently what Alicia Silverstone, Kathy Freston, and Ellen Degeneres say about it and my buds life, I am intrigued.
Now i am an animal lover, but I am not into PETA, or thinking on it because of slaughterhouses. Although if you saw the Oprah with Lisa Ling, going to a 'better run' slaughterhouse, it really is hard to want to eat meat...although easy to just block that out, and eat ignorantly (or at least that is what I do). And, it's not because I agreed with the book, Skinny Bitch.
What intrigues me is the arguements about what is good for the body, and what is good for the Earth, and connecting, and feeling good about who you are. Taking care of your body and soul. I'm not saying this as a bunch of mumbo jumbo. It's things like this that I am reding in Kathy Freston's book, "Veganist":

most Americans eat twice as much protein as needed...and twice as much as we did in the early 20th century.
The American Dietic Association concludes a Vegetarian diet shows lower ishemic heart disease, lower cholesterol, lower blood pressure, lower hypertension, and a reduced risk of Type 2 Diabetes (a clencher for me), prostate, and colon cancer.
it takes 16lbs of grain to feed 1lb of beef.
Meat stimulates an insulin release (Dr. Barnard). Beef and cheese cause a bigger insulin release than pasta and fish more than popcorn. <~~this catches my attention as I am insulin resistant.

I thought you may be interested in these little factoids, and i may continue sharing them as I come across them.
Another big thing for me, is all the crap they do to meat...I feel like I can't trust it. Lots of chemicals, hormones, and antibiotics going into the animals we are injesting.

Anyway, so what the heck is "leaning in" to "vegani-ish". "Leaning in" means its not going to happen overnight. This is a lifestyle change not a diet. I'm not going to hold my feet to the coals to be perfect. What I am going to do is be concious of my eating, and think about it, and make choices towards vegan. Vegan-ish to me means, I may be a vegetarian, and I may try to avoid dairy....but it may take me some time to give up the cream in my coffee. And what if that is the 1 thing I hold onto....so what. It's not about perfection, its about being concious.

So yesterday, I was a bonafide vegetarian. I had the following to eat:
Breakfast: Whole Wheat Cranberry Orange Scone and a Strawberry Banana Orange Smoothie

Lunch: Sandwich on Whole Wheat Bread with bean sprouts, avocado, tomato, and spinach

Snack: We went to the Strawberry Festival and I had a Strawberry Taco. Vegetarian....yes. Vegan....no. It is a waffle cone, with fresh strawberries and whipped cream.

Dinner: We grilled some zucchini, yellow squash, garlic, onions and corn, with some teriyaki marinade. I also had a baked potato with butter (not healthy, nor vegan)

Dessert (I know twice in one day, but it was my anniversary): Some mint chocolate chip Vegan ice cream, made with Coconut Milk....super delicious.

So far today, I've had an Odwalla Bar and smoothie. We are having black bean burritos for dinner. I'm going to see if I can try it without cheese or sour cream. I am hoping the guacamole picks up the slack.

The Cliffnotes Version of the Cute Stuff Sale on Nice Girl Notes

2011-05-30T06:30:00.000-07:00

So if you know me, then you know, I LOVE NiceGirlNotes. Awesome blog, funny, and of course she is the organizer of the Cute Stuff Sale. Cute Stuff Sale is like having a ladies night out, online, and buying handmade stuff at some wet dream type prices.

So last night Lilac Ave in a matter of minutes sold 20 lip balms, 3 Sweet Cheeks bars, 5 Lotion Bars, and 3 MAN Soaps!! Crazy right?!?! And there were folks that didn't get the LilacAve stuf they wanted....it was "Cray Cray" as they say. (no worries, offering 15% off at www.LilacAve.com AND www.LilacAve.etsy.com until 6/5/11, when you use coupon code LOVENGN)

However, I also totally scored, a scarf from 2LittleFriends, 2 headbands from HoldsIt (1 for me and 1 for my daughter), and some awesome Thank You Cards from TwoPoodlePress.

I would have loved to have scored a hat from TwoSeasideBabes, a ring from NinthStreetNotions, or the gorgeous stuff BrideBlu was offering....but alas, the budget and the refresh finger lost out!
We had a good time posting videos and pics, and chit chatting as a group of fired up, half drunk ladies do. I had so much fun!!!!

Kitchen Renovation

2011-05-29T10:03:00.000-07:00

In 2007 we renovated the kitchen. The kitchen in the house was original, and super small. Even the stove was smaller than the average standard size these days. The budget for the job was $10, 000. We hired no help. Here is what was done!

The original kitchen...cranberry countertops, and linoleum tile. You can't see but the dining area had a pink carpet.

We pulled up the floor, removed the appliances, removed the old cabinets.

Then we laid down, unfinished hardwood floors. After spending all day bent over (I laid the lines, Hubs came in and nailed them down), the soreness in the hind of the legs was massive!

We rented a floor sander from Home Depot, doing layers of vanish and sand, varnish and sand. Aren't they gorgeous?!

Then came, putting the cabinets up. We purchased these from Home Depot, and Hubs put them together (almost like you would a bookshelf you buy from Target). Then we read up in some home reno books, how to install them. You can see Hubs made a T with wood. This would be the guide to make sure all cabinets are level (also proofed with a level).

This was very exciting for the kids!

We added in a hutch in the dining area for extra storage, and of course a wine fridge.

Here is the finished kitchen. New appliances, and so much more cabinet space...and of course GORGEOUS. And WE did it!

If you hadn't noticed....

2011-05-29T09:32:00.000-07:00

Well, since I changed my website www.LilacAve.com, I no longer have a blog attached to the website. And since I have things to say, relating to business, military life, my life, and other stuff, I wanted to still have access to blog. This blog has been around for a while...lots of old posts, so I choose to revitalize it.

I am going to try to move over some of my most popular posts from the website blog, so people new to me can read up. But I can't promise it will be overnight.

Thanks for sticking with me as I switch it up!!

Some topics I plan to touch:

small business

Virginia

LilacAve

vegan-ish

animals

autism

eco-friendly schtuff

Homefront Photography

2010-06-28T05:26:00.000-07:00

I love photography and art. Sometimes I am lucky enough to snap a great photo....but I am no real photographer....that requires skill and study.

Another thing I really love, is the Etsy Homefront Team. This team is made up of spouses and significant others of members of the U.S. uniformed services, as well as military veterans. This team has not only been a huge support of me and my business, and my military life....but they are also inspiring artisans!

3 in particular are some of our pro photographers. All with different styles, but all touch you with the single snap of a photo. I have an art wall, and all but one photo is from this team. Here is the wall, containing photos from JrzyGirlPhotography, CreationsAnew, and LEvansPhotography.

The photo wall and Bear and Kitty (can you guess which is Bear and which is Kitty?)

The top right is from LEvansPhotography, the remaining all from JrzyGirl Photography

JrzyGirlPhotography

If you are a pet lover, you'll understand. They were there....they had to get photos take too!

I am remiss in that I have not hung my CreationsAnew photo yet, in this new house. But it is amongst my favorite photo EVER!!!! So it will be up very soon (still looking for the perfect frame...and it was lost in unpacking for a bit).

I also recently got this train photo for my Dad, who is an amateur photographer, and fascinated with trains! I LOVE the colors on this one!

I encourage you to discover these 3 shops! Also each of them does on location photos, so if you are in Germany, New Jersey, or Colorado...you are in luck!

The NEW Lilac Ave

2010-06-11T06:44:00.000-07:00

As LilacAve approaches it's 2 year anniversary (July 14th, Bastille Day), you may notice there's been a lot of changes. Some of it has been slowly morphing, and now if you go to the shop you'll see a much different shop, than what is was even 3 months ago.

Here are just some of the changes, if you haven't already noticed.

1. There is a lot more of a streamlined assortment. Instead of mod squares, baking dishes, and one of a kind containers, you will see a multitude of jars and tins, in different sizes, with a colorful paper wrap, and a LilacAve seal. All of these candles are made to order.

This is a GOOD thing. It allows for each customer to have their own candle made, just for them, fresh and with care. This also allows me to be able to fill custom orders easier, for better customer satisfaction.

As time goes on, there will eventually be every scent offered listed with every container (a 5oz jar, a 10oz jar, a 12oz 2 wick jar, and an 18oz jar, as well as a tin, tealight pack, and tarts). Until then, you can customize (even the paper) as you choose with these custom listings:

http://www.etsy.com/search_results_shop.php?search_query=Customize+your+own&search_type=user_shop_ttt_id_5998410&ref=auto

2. You'll also notice some product line additions! Just recently LilacAve has begun to sell soaps and lotions. So far the feedback is great!

The vision is eventually to have high quality, melt and pour soaps.

Also to have scented lotions that smell as incredible as LilacAve candles.

Both are created to have subtle, non-overpowering scents, and to be light and clean feeling.

3. The introduction of LilacAve home parties.

If you have ever attended a partylite or scentsy party, the concept is sort of similar. You would buy a sample pack to use at your party. It will contain sample scents in the form of tarts, and made candles in almost every size for your customers to see a life size version of what their order may contain. The kit also comes with catalogs and order forms. There is a commission for hostesses.

This is a great way to socialize, spread the word about a product you love, and make a little extra money. If you are interested in more information. You can email LilacAve at LilacAve@gmail.com

I'll keep you updated as this area in the shop grows!

I hope that these changes please my current loyal customers, and help to grow even more.

I'd also like to thank my customers on giving me such great feedback, that it motivates me to continue to grow, and to work even hard to provide the best product and customer service I can offer. Thank you!!

Ezine Article on Soy Candles

2010-04-14T14:13:00.001-07:00

I wanted to share this Ezine article on soy candles. Some similar thoughts were also recently shared on Fox News' Sunday Housecall with Dr. Isadore Rosenfeld Healthy Monday Pick of the week.

"Soy is everywhere these days, including in your milk, chips, nuts, and even burgers adding health benefits through and through, now it seems soy is also in your candles. Soy candles are a new and emerging type of candle the offers great benefits to those candle heads in the world that can't live without fresh aroma burning each and every day in their homes."If it lasts longer it's okay with me" said a friend of mine once during a casual dinner. Take that comment for what you will, my friend could've meant a variety of things by it, but in general consumers prefer long lasting items to those that are short in life span. Soy candles last 30 to 50 percent longer then traditional candles. Your average 14 oz candle, similar to a Yankee candle large size, will last about 75 hours. If you were to have that candle be a soy candle, it would last over 100 hours and smell just as sweet as the traditional candles do.Traditional candles are known to cause soot in and around the general area they are burning. For those that aren't familiar with our friend soot, think grayish black smoky smelling fog that clouds the top of your candle jar, on your walls, and even on ones ceiling. Soot is caused by the toxic elements in the traditional candles that are released when ignited. Soy candles are all natural and do not contain any toxins, thus no soot will come of them.Carcinogens are released into the air when a traditional candle is burning. Carcinogens can cause cancer, and other health related problems. New research is showing links between candles, charcoal, and other burning devices we use in our home lives as cancer causing. Research is just beginning on this issue; however it is a fact that soy candles do not produce carcinogens. When thinking about buying soy candles think of the old cliché, better safe than sorry."

Direct Link to the Article:http://ezinearticles.com/?Health-Benefits-of-Soy-Candles&id=182179

Spring Cleaning

2010-03-31T07:29:00.001-07:00

Spring is a time for a fresh start! I think this is why so many of us start to Spring Clean.

Here are some fantastic items from Etsy, that can help you spring clean in a stylish and unique way!

These Lemon Handmade Wash Cloths are so cute...they just 'look' clean! And I know from my personal set, not only do they jazz up my kitchen, but work well too! See a whole assortment at Teri's Treasure.

We all need a little apron for our cooking and cleaning, why not look sweet and sexy while you are at it! I love this Cherry Apron from JenHarruff's shop. She has a bunch of incredible designed aprons.

SSymmondsCreations makes all sorts of items for an eco friendly home. But for spring, I'm really loving these room sprays. The scent is cleaner and less perfume-y than mass market sprays. This Lavender one will make your rooms smell delightfully clean!

What better thing to do in your spring cleaning than organize! I don't know about you, but half my clutter is papers. Between MemoriesToYou and her sister store HoldsIt...that cluttery mess can be picked up in no time! MemoriesToYou specializes in french memo boards. They are a beautiful way to mix decor with organization! And HoldsIt specializes in Magnets and tacks in a gorgeous floral patterns....talk about lighting up your office with pretty office supplies!

Eco-Friendly Soy Candle Refills

2010-03-26T06:08:00.000-07:00

So ever since I started Lilac Ave back in July of 2008, I have really wanted to make a large concentration, on how to make beautiful, unique candles out of things that have lost purpose. You see this in my shop in items like the recycled jar candles, or a lot of the one of a kind candles. But one thing you previously haven't seen, is that I offer a refill service!

This came to light when so many of my Etsy Homefront Teammembers...many who just joined us in the last few months, and some that have been there for a while, but have forgotten, saw a refill I did for a friend of mine. So they helped me brainstorm, and we figured out a way, for those who are too shy to convo, can see what is offered.

Beginning today I have 4 new listings in my shop for custom refills. Here's how it works. If you have a 'non-flammable (that is important) container that you've kept because you've loved, or had a candle in it, that is burnt through, let me refill it for you! All you do, is mail me your empty container. Let me know what scent you like. I will fill it and mail it back to you. And now whatever it is, will have a new purpose. AND you can do this over and over. Think of the reduction to the landfill!

I've filled tea tins, old Yankee Candle jars, coffee mugs, old candle holders. Just about anything.

The listings are by size, so just buy and mail me the container, and we are ready to go!

Refill for 0-6oz $4

Refill for 7-12oz $7

Refill for 13-18oz $10

Refill for 19-24oz $12

Please take note that these prices also make it worthwhile. They are in most cases 25% off buying a candle new. This easily makes up for the shipping of the empty containers to me, with the added bonus of getting something truly special in return.

So, the only question is....what in your home can become a candle????

Fun Facts about Citronella

2010-02-22T15:31:00.000-08:00

-Citronella Oil has been registered in the United States as an insect repellent since 1948.

-Citronella Oil comes from the plant, Cymbopogon.

-Citronella can be effective in calming barking dogs.

-The plant is bluish green with lemon-scented leaves, and is cultivated in Java and Sri Lanka.

-One study shows Citronella candles can minimize bites by 42%.

This is Lilac Ave's 1st year selling Citronella Candles. These candles are made of 100% soy. Creating a long lasting all natural candle. All the citronella candles will be using hemp wicks. What a great way to get pumped up for spring, summer, and all the barbeques, time outdoors, and sipping lemonade on the patio.

Etsy Lessons for a Newbie (REVISED)

2010-02-11T06:55:00.000-08:00

I wrote this over a year ago. I know that there was a good response to it, and thought I would update it and repost...just in case there are any new Etsians, trying to get their start.
First of all what is an Etsian? Etsian (et-c-ann): 1) an artisan (crafter) who has located the handmade site Etsy, and has grown obsessed with it. 2) an artisan (crafter) who has become intwined in a community of artisans (crafters) on www.etsy.com. 3) an artisan (crafter) who may at times get frustrated with getting their shop or business noticed on www.etsy.com .

Well, I started my first etsy shop, BubbaRye, on Etsy Feb 19th, 2008 (although my stats says earlier, this is when I became active). That shop closed in 2009 with 272 sales.

On July 11th, 2008, I officially opened my second shop Lilac Ave, which now has 370 sales. It was 100 times easier to get Lilac Ave up and running, knowing what I learned from opening the Bubba and Rye shop.

I am not claiming to be an expert, or an Etsy hot seller, but I do ok, and there are things I have found that worked. Here are those tips:

1. Your photos are so hugely important!!!!

I went to the critique section in the forums many times over and kept being told my photos were too dark. I tried EVERYTHING!!!! Finally these things ended up being the key for me:

- use the macro setting on your camera if your items are smaller It is the tulip shaped button on your camera.

- take your photos in natural light or in a light box. I do not mean in direct full sun, this will make a glare, and huge shadows. Try different places around your house until you find your sweet spot. However a light box can do wonders, and I recommend that for jewelry photos. Instructions to make one are available through and online search.

- If you don't have Adobe photoshop for photo editing, Picasa is a god send! Go to google and search for picasa. It is a free photo editing program by google and can make a fantastic difference. Maker sure to crop, and give "I'm feeling lucky" a whirl. You'll see a major difference.

2. Scream it from the rooftops!

Send out a Grand Opening email to everyone you know! Most will be very supportive, and even if they don't buy from you, they can talk about you to other people. Even their sheer knowledge that Etsy exists, can be a help. There is not a person, place, animal, rock, that I haven't talked to about Etsy. You'll find as the obsession grows this is a very easy task, and someone may tell you to shut it at some point.

I also make sure EVERY site I go onto has my shop in my signature, and EVERY email that goes out. You'd be surprised how many people click.

3. Be part of the Etsy Community.

Go to www.etsy.com , then go to community, and there are our forums, where so many questions can be answered and info by experienced sellers read. There is also a teams section. There may be a team for you. I am part of the Etsy Homefront Team, which is for military spouses. Not only are these teams a great support, but also help you attack promotion as a team, rather than by yourself. Together you can create treasuries to get noticed. Alot of times you team will help promote you too. This helps a lot since they may have a totally differnet pool of people to promote to.

4. Get your product seen.

This is best done by listing or renewing daily. This helps get your items to the top of the search category and getting new eyes on your product daily. I see it as an invitation to your shop. Having a Facebook fan page and a Twitter account, can also help you gear attention to new listings, sales, etc.

You also want to study your views and hearts. The most awesome tool is Majaba...Mah-who-ba? www.majaba.org (aka as Craftcult). It is a website to help you track views on items, to see how much your views increased after promoting.

In addition, there is also Google analytics. Look at "web analytics" on the left hand side of your shop page.

It's important to use these to see what is working. Is that ad you put on a website bringing in traffic. Did someone blog about you, and that is bringing traffic? Is your SEO bringing in views from google searches. Is renewing and promoting giving you a view bump?

As a sidenote...you can go to http://www.socialmention.com/ to see if anyone has blogged or talked about your shop in a social network.

Also if at some point you decide to promote via sale, try Saturday Night Specials...also known as SNS. This is a group of Etsians that promote in the promo section. Imagine 20-100 people all promoting the same promo thread. It is a good way to kind of have strength in number to help people find your sale. Here is info on SNS:

You can find the Frequently Asked Questions here

http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=6305201

And you can read more info in the Storque http://etsy.com/storque/section/thisHandmadeLife/article/etsy-community-projects-saturday-night-specials/1112/

5. The more the merrier.

In both shops business increased after I had more than 30 items in the shop. Even better after 50 items. Even better after 100 items! Why? Because your customers have choices. They feel like they are shopping and are sure about their purchase when they check out. I know this sounds unimportant, but it really does matter, it somehow gives the perception of established, professional business. Imagine if you walked into a boutique and there were 10 items for sale, how likely are you to buy, versus if you had 100 choices?

6. Get in touch Locally!

See if there are any craft shows in the area. Any shops that sell consignment or wholesale. Maybe even get a group of friends and their friends together for a home show. It's worth a try. Some of these work well and some don't, but no matter what, you are meeting people, learning, and making local connections.

I used to not heed this so much. But I was lucky enough to really get out there last year, and found that local business can attribute to 30% of my business. That's worth a try, isn't it?

All this info is for you to take in and digest, and spit back out the right formula for your shop. These are the things that have helped me, and will hopefully help in your Etsy business as well.

Why Soy?

2010-02-07T10:40:00.000-08:00

At the bottom of each of my listings, I have a "Why soy?" explanation. I thought it may be good to really discuss the benefits of soy candles.

Personally, I feel like the candles I make in soy wax smell less perfumey, and more "fresh" than traditional candles I am used to, or what I smell when I walk down the candle aisle in Target/Walmart/Kmart/fill in the blank.

However there are more scientific reasons why soy is better!

- They last longer

I know in my studies that Yankee Candle says their tart lasts 8hrs. I am pretty sure they are about double the size of my .6oz tarts that burn for at least 16hrs...some customers say even longer.

A soy wax candle can burn twice as long as paraffin....think of it, it's like you are buying twice the amount of candle, for usually a similar, or slightly higher price.

- It is vegetable based versus petroleum based.

Soy wax comes from the soy bean, which is a vegetable crop. In fact, many of the soy bean farmers are American farmers. So buying soy candles is also supporting domestic farmers and workers.

- Soy is green...it is renewable!

Because soy is a vegetable, it is a renewable resource. Paraffin (what traditional candles are made from), are made from petroleum, which we all know is NOT a renewable resource.

- Soy burns cleaner.

Soy wax does not produce the black soot that paraffin candles do. Less mess, less "stuff" in the air.

For the Love of Dogs (and I guess cats too!)

2010-02-05T12:12:00.000-08:00

I adore animals, especially cats and dogs....specifically dogs! And let's just say, I have animals on my mind today. So, I wanted to devote today to some animal favorites from Etsy.This beautiful original graphite drawing from Beth Thompson Art, Jewelry, and Gifts.

This is a fabulous photo print from Laura Evans Photography.

This is an incredible idea and follow through on this suitcase pet bed from Love Nostalgic Whimsy.
This adorable print from Megan Makes Stuff.

Love the dog, and the bed in this item from BowWow Beds.

Etsy LOVE

2010-02-02T04:43:00.000-08:00

So I just can't stop sharing! Here are some more favorites, I love to love!

I love the work at LevanPhotography. I own one print, and look forward to ordering more.

I have also bought from Wordboards, and cannot wait to buy one of her military "places" signs.

Nicole's Handmade Treats, has some incredible delights. I've bought granola, in the past, but this time I'm looking to get something much sweeter for my sweets for Valentines Day!

If you are a tea drinker, this is a fantastic place to get rich teas, with incredible flavor. Great for these chilly days of winter! DancingBearsTeaHouse is a favorite amongst my Etsy Homefront Team.

Last but not least, is CreationsAnew. Her shop has gorgeous nature photos, and many other treats for the eyes. I love her work!

Recycling by Reverse Osmosis

2010-01-31T12:12:00.000-08:00

So if you've been to my shop you know I like to recycle jars and tins into candles. But what can you do when you've bought a candle from Lilac Ave, and you're done?

If you read my Nove blog on "How to make the Most of Your Candles", then you saw that when a candle burns down, you can freeze it for 10min, and then easily remove the remaining wax. Not only can you use the remnant wax as tarts for a tart burner, but you can use the container too, and that is what this blog write up is about.

After removing the wax, make sure you hand wash out the rest of the wax. Then run it through the dishwasher. Make sure the container is spotless and smell it to see if the candle scent is still there. I do not suggest using the container for food as pictured, if you smell any remnant of candle scent, but you 'should' be able to have 'washed it all out'.

Here are just a few thoughts.

Send your container back to LilacAve and get it refilled with a scent of your choice for less than $1/oz. For example the above is 5oz, and the refill would cost $4.

Use it as a dish for lose change. Then it is not only saving the Earth, but saving some cashola!

Use it to hold craft supplies or office supplies! Not only a good way to organize, but CUTE too!

A perfect size for an afternoon snack of grapes, goldfish, or nuts. See above about making sure the container is completely clean. Athough soy comes from nature, you don't want to eat wax ;)

How about a business card holder?

A great way for crayons not to roll away while your child colors!

I'd love to hear even more ideas!!!

Etsy Buys Put to Good Use!

2010-01-30T06:41:00.000-08:00

So not only am I an Etsy seller, but also an Etsy buyer!!!

I wanted to share just a few things (of many) that I have gotten on Etsy that I love.

Originally I bought this wall sign from WordBoards for what would be my office, as a reminder that the simple 'big picture' in my life is incredible, and not to dwell on the small worries. Then we moved into this new house and it just looked so perfect in the kitchen, that I had to make plans for it to go in there. We don't have a hammer yet to hang it, but you see where we are going with it!

I bought this dish towel from FrayBabyBibsandMore with no idea how it would work. But I couldn't resist the awesome towel design, and the incredibly "my style" fabric. Well guess what??? My new kitchen is red, and even my new plates match the red, blue, and creamy yellow colors perfectly. I think it makes the kitchen look more home-y.When we moved from Hawaii we didn't know what to expect for the cooler temps here in Georgia. We bought a hat for my daughter, from TheYarnChick to prepare. Good thing we did, because waiting outside at the bus stop is chilly!!! And the added value that she looks absolutely adorable!There are MANY MANY more Etsy items I have purchased that I am in love with, and anxiously awaiting our house hold goods shipment in our new home, so I can have them to have and to hold again :)

How to Make a 9hr Flight with Kids Easier

2010-01-29T07:35:00.000-08:00

So back in June, we were moving to Hawaii. My husband had already moved out there, and after the school year, I came with the kids. So there was me, a 5yr old, and a 7yr old flying from Virginia to Hawaii (12hrs). I was terrified.

My 7yr old son has High Functioning Autism, and can sometimes have some pretty violent meltdowns. I was an anxious mess. They were excited to FINALLY get with Daddy, and see this Hawaii we kept talking about. It was not great. After 2 hrs of travel, my son started asking "Are we almost there?". I struggled to keep both of them happy, even with all my efforts in having gifts every hour to pass the time, a ton of movies, etc. It was hyper-stressful!

So you can imagine only 7months after that nightmare, when I knew we'd have to get on that plane again for another cross country move...this time Hawaii to Georgia, I was scared! How can we prevent this from happening again.

I was pretty concerned about the red-eye flight, since my kids are hyper, immune to drowsiness, and loud. I knew they wouldn't like the dark cabin, or trying to sleep in something quite the opposite of a bed. AND this time the animals were flying with us as baggage. Afterall recent stories in the news included Ivana Trump smacking a child on an airplane, and planes needing to land because they could not "detain" someone. What if this were me and my kid!?

However, the following things actually made the flight quite easy!

#1 My husband. Super thankful to have another set of adult hands.

#2 Delta Employees and Plane.

We got to the airport, struggling with 4 suitcases, an Extra Large dog Crate with a 90lb dog in it, a cat crate, 2 kids, and carryon backpacks! It was awful! BUT Delta was there to save the day. Not only did they help us get to the right place, but everyone was very helpful in checking the animals,a nd taking as much of a load off as possible. And the customer service was top notch!

When we got on the plane it was an Airbus A330. This baby was incredible!!!!

By far the one thing that almost made flying red-eye, even enjoyable, was the wonderful individual in seat TV screens. There was a library of movies to choose from. The kids watched "Up" and "Ice Age 3", I finally got to watch "The Time Traveler's Wife", and my husband watched "Terminator Salvation". As you can see it was beneficial to have the catalog, AND all we needed was headphones. No need to bring compact DVD players and a book of DVD's. After movies, and our hot meal, we all slept.

#3 Travel Pillows from http://www.sygnetcreations.etsy.com/ Each of us, had our own, and it really helped in avoiding a crampy neck and being as comfortable as possible.

#4 Starbucks . Yes if you know me, you know my love and devotion for the stuff. In our travels, we were at 2 airports WITH Starbucks, an 1 without. Guess which visit was least enjoyable. Not only were hubby and I able to get by on our 3hrs sleep this way, but we also got lovely pastries to keep the kids going.#5 Navy Lodge Kings Bay. You may not expect much from this little Navy Lodge for it's $51.25/night. But let me tell you, it was everything we needed and more. Remember, we were traveling with pets. Not only did the room smell fresh (not like pet pee or wet dog, like the hotel in Hawaii), but they even had dog and cat treats waiting for our furry babies. It was really nice. The room had a kitchenette, with 2 burner for a stove, a decent refrigerator, microwave, and sink. Also a seperate dressing room nook, which gave us a perfect place for pet crates and a litter box. The manager even sent housekeeping by to meet the pets, so no one was started in room cleaning. Fantastic service. Helpful and lovely staff.

I just wanted to give a big smile and shout out, to all these things that helped make our travel miles easier.

Etsy LOVE

2010-01-28T05:27:00.000-08:00

So there are many things I LOVE on Etsy. I can't buy it all. Some are for babies, which I no longer have (instead I have crazy grade schoolers). Some I have my eye on, and 1 day, WILL be mine....mu-ha-ha-ha! Some I've already bought similar and LOVED from the seller!
I'll be doing a little blog post to share, every so often. I hope you enjoy looking as much as I do, and I have a sneaking suspicion buying would be even better!
Enjoy!

These are the most wonderful aprons in JenHarruff's etsy shop. Figure flattering and in sophisticated prints. I love it! She also makes some incredible brooches.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE everything in this shop. BlueRoomGems has jewelry right up my alley!
I LOVE this line of flirty skirts from 1MaddieAndMe on Etsy. My daughter has 2, and I love them! High quality fabrics, easy to take on and off for my daughter, and a ton of fabric choices!

I got a towel set like this from MonsterBugBlankets and LOVE them! Want more!

How to Make the Most of Your Candle

2009-11-14T20:54:00.000-08:00

Recently, I had some buds over, and we were talking about things I do, and what they do to make their candles last EVEN longer. I thought I should share these tips with you folks!

1. A Simple Motion Goes A Long Way- A buddy of mine loves her mod square candle she bought from my shop. She found a way to lengthen the life of her candle. The very first time she lit it, she picked it up and sort of tilted it around to widen the melt pool. After that first light, the candle is like memory foam, and will melt back to those same distance, causing a longer fragrant burn. This works with any candle that is wide in area, but maybe short in height.

2. Waste Not, Want Not- I had a wonderful leaf shaped candle. It smelled fabulous as it burned down, but it eventually came to it's end. Well because of it's unusual shape there was a lot of wax still hanging out in the nooks and crannies. It seemed like a waste to lose. So, I put the candle in the freezer for 10min. This causes soy wax to shrink. So when I pushed at the wax in the nooks and crannies, a chunk fell out. I saved all these chunks, and have been burning them in my tart burner. These crumbles were equivalent to at least 5 tarts....a savings of $5, and letting me enjoy the great scent for an additional 80+ hours.3. I Just Can't Let Go- Some containers are just too perfect, too pretty, too sentimental to get rid of when the candle is gone. I've had several cases over the last few months, where owners of these little jewels, give the containers back to me, to fill with their favorite scent, or one they want to try. Refills are discounted from a regular candle purchase, and a great way to do your part in conservation and reuse.

4. Do You Believe in Reincarnation- Look around you and many thinks that could or would be trash, could be a treasure. How about filling your favorite Schnapps with a matching Reed Diffuser scent? How about making last nights pasta jar see another day, as a mega jar candle? These items can be filled for you as well...making your trash, your treasure :)

not because they are easy, but because they are hard

2009-07-26T22:15:00.000-07:00

There certainly are challenges to life. There are some we don't understand, and some that we procrastinate, and others we are just in denial over.

My son has autism. We are blessed. He is very high functioning...almost categorically Asperger's, except for he had communication delays as a toddler that he has now outgrown, with no need for any speech therapy.

If you want the honest truth, here it is.

I always joked that Ethan was a genius. A baby book I once read had a short page on traits of gifted children. Ethan had a sense of humor as an infant; he was hysterical when I had a towel on my head after a shower. He slept through the night, but otherwise never slept much. He was always in constant movement....always! Still, we never truly thought anything of it.

So many people were always there to tell you something was "normal". We used to find it funny that he would line up his cars and get aggravated if all the fronts lined up but then the backs didn't and vice versa. We were seeing this at 2 and thought nothing of it. He would have 3 hour tantrums...I thought this is what the terrible 2's were all about, and that he was particularly stubborn. He would point and grunt versus talk. And even when he started talking he did not speak sentences with his peers. All this I was told was normal for a first born, for a boy, etc.
I remember trying to potty train him and this was challenging to say the least. It was obvious he had the control (he would hold it all day and wait for a pull up at night over going in the potty). People said, some kids take longer to potty train.

Finally, daycare at 3 1/2 called us in to our 1st parent teacher conference, that they assured us was normal, incinuated Autism. I knew the assistant director had an autistic child, and I felt like she was projecting on us. It was our first time EVER to get feedback on our child in such a negative light. I was heartbroken. I felt betrayed that this place that cared for him over 40 hrs a week, had nothing but complaints about him.

However, we followed their instruction and went to the Child Development Clinic. The doctors there asked me a series of questions. These are so vague, especially if you are a parent in denial. Does your child make eye contact? Yes. Does he obsess over one object? No (he liked cars, what little boy doesn't). Did he talk at 2? Yes.

I was told it was more of a parenting issue than a problem. If anything, when we started school they may find him to have ADHD. That was that. And I left feeling so satisfied that I had won the battle with the daycare, that my son was fine, and they were just incapable of dealing with a hyper child.

We left that daycare. Within 6 months, he had gotten kicked out of the next one. Then the next one kept him, but said he was definitely not "like the other kids". They had found methods to help, but Ethan was obviously a struggle for them. In our defense, during this time, my husband and I were working full time. Our time with the kids was between 6pm and 7:30pm everynight. And the weekends were so jampacked with laundry and errands, that there was never any pressure or expectation. His tantrums to us seemed like stubborn Ethan.

Well then he turned 5. By then we had to switch daycares again, to get one that could do afterschool care. We thought we should start the summer before because Dad was starting to go out to sea again for the 1st time in 3 years. And we should just get him settled sooner than later. This was a set up for the Perfect Storm.

I would get calls that he was kicking, screaming, and banging his head on the floor for no reason. He would pace in circles. It was obvious whatever was wrong, could not wait until school could evaluate him. We took him back to the doctor. This time, they referred us to the autism team. There they not only asked the questions, but asked them more in depth. Not only, "did he speak at 2?" but also "did he progress like his peers?". This changed everything. And by 5, we knew certain behaviors, like tantrums, were well out of normal range. They observed him and said, "yes, he makes eye contact, but he looks away quickly...it is not natural for him, it is learned". He was diagnosed with High Functioning Autism that day. I remember leaving the office happy! You might ask, how could you be happy? At this point, I had not heard a positive thing about my son in 2 years. Even my Dad once said, his eyes look dead. It was obvious Ethan was not a happy boy, and it was really obvious there was something wrong. We were happy, because someone could tell us what it was....we had an answer!

Then I found out the most surprising thing EVER! I had heard of Autism a ton. At the time it was in the news a lot. A Lot of talk about it being 1 in every 200 boys having it, and a lot of talk on research agencies, awareness, fundraisers, etc. What surprised me, was no one knew anything or could make it better! A doctor could not prescribe anything. We were not directed on what to do during a meltdown. We were told to get into ABA Therapy and sign him up for an IEP at school. This process took from October to April of the following year. The school followed everything to the letter of the law (they have time ranges to complete each part of an IEP). However we could not get approval for ABA therapy until an IEP had been made.

I remember thinking if I went to the doctor and said I was depressed, they'd have me in therapy within the month. Here is a child with autism, and nothing was done for 7 months.

Ethan began therapy, and the place seemed fantastic. However they felt he didn't really need therapy. They felt he had all the coping skills he needed. The school constantly complained about the traits in him that exemplify autism, and I felt could not be changed, and if they could, I had no idea how to fix it. I felt the pressure of not doing enough, but no one told me what to do, no one seemed to be able to help. The people that saw the flaws couldn't fix it, and the ones who maybe could, did not see the flaws. I thought that was how it is.

I thought this is as good as we get folks. Unfortunately for me I have now developed a daily fear of my son, and what to expect from him. He is extraordinary in so many ways, but yet I struggle to find the good points in him to talk about. He is so rational, he is irrational, he is stubborn, rigid, difficult, constant work, constant questioning, and physically a threat to himself and others. The meltdowns do not happen that often anymore. However he has issues controlling his anger, he gets frustrated easily, has crazy hyperness highs, and he whines ALL THE TIME!
I should add to all of this, we are a military family that just had a major move, and my husband has been home a total of 18 weeks out of the last 60. The longest time home being 7 weeks. This is not condusive for an autistic child.

So what's up with the title? I know we have services available to us. I met wonderful people with a new ABA firm, that seemed to understand the things he does is not normal, and we can improve. I met these people 3 weeks ago. WHY haven't I called???? I am scared. I don't know why. I tried thinking really hard, why? I was scared to have people see the bare naked truth of how we live with avoidance daily. I do everything in my power to stop the whining, the meltdowns, the fighting, etc. I am tired, and there is a better life; I know better, and I am ashamed that we haven't gotten more help. I am scared to show that I do not want to change. I know we need to, but it is hard.....what if there are charts, what if they don't want me to avoid meltdowns, etc? What if it gets worse before it gets better?????

I need to do this. I need to get him help, as he is regressing quickly and steadily. My 7 year old is having poop accidents because he doesn't like any of the 3 toilets in the new house. The 2 upstairs have exhaust fans and the 1 downstairs 1 time had a spider. So he holds it in until he can't. He lashes out at his sister, and maybe as he gets bigger won't be able to stop himself. Afterall, he has no empathy for the pain he causes her. He understands when she hurts him, but can't understand that he does it to her.

So I am reaching out. We are getting the wheels in motion to help us as a family. We need to heal ourselves and better ourselves. If we leave Hawaii with nothing else, than being a stonger family, with our lives in place, than how could I ask for anything more.

What's your Footprint?!

2009-06-17T00:59:00.000-07:00

So back a few months ago I had to give a presentation on Earth Day at work. I found this website http://www.carbonfootprint.com/ . There you can take a quiz to tell you what your carbon footprint is, and what it is compared to an "average American". Well, I was surprised to see that we were over the average! How could this be, we use an energy star appliances, we use the energy efficient lightbulbs, and I tried not to mow my lawn that often (well that was REALLY for other reasons!).

I put thought into the questions on the quiz. It really got me thinking...even though we were trying to do those things; we hadn't thought about sheer consumption! For instance one question related to how often we get new furniture. Had we tossed things that didn't fit a new style, or maybe replaced furniture that could've been refurbished, or re-purposed? How many things did we prematurely get rid of.

And more so, I started thinking about a new couch we got specifically. The old one was dirty and out of shape from kids who were now 5 and 7, but were toddlers when we got it (yes that is right, toddlers, we had the other couch for only 3 yrs). Obviously, we didn't keep this couch, we gave it away, and bought a new and improved couch. Think of the whole entire couch...in a landfill. I know we gave it away, and not threw it away. But think about the idea of disposing something like that....and think about how many couches are mass produced....likely more than the necessary need for them by not only Americans, but world wide. I started feeling sick about the idea of "brand new" and "mass consumption".

These ideas not only went over into how I started buying (instead of new, searching Craigslist and Freecycle), but also into Food Consumption. Think about how much food is served at a restaurant. Not only is it expensive to eat out, but the servings are enough to feed a family of 3-4 at some places...and the calories and fat to go with it. We were eating out at least 1 time per week! So with this new cleaner living and not wasting, consuming, overdoing...my husband and I are making a concerted effort to eat out less, and share a meal. We do compensate the poor waiter with less of a bill a decent tip. But why waste the food? Why over consume?

This is just the beginning of the eye opening of this quiz. While we are in Hawaii, we will share one vehicle and a bike. Not only is this money saving, but also fuel saving, and also a healthier lifestyle.

I plan on researching more and more things we can do as a family to USE less Earth, to be good citizens, and to save ourselves from the mass consumption that has gobbled us up for years. Please join me as some of my posts will relate to this and other matters near and dear to my heart!

Yeah! New Blog

2009-06-17T00:52:00.001-07:00

Well this is a new start in a new place.

We just moved to Hawaii last week. I just re-opened my online shop http://www.lilacave.etsy.com/, and am building my "green home" shop at http://www.lilacave.1000markets.com/. And in the coming months, http://www.serendipitydecor.etsy.com/ will come to life.

So with this I thought the old blog Bubba, Rye, and Me, was maybe left better in the past. Not only inactive, it was originally set for thoughts and ideas of the past.

This new blog promises to not only be business, but also shed light on becoming more environmentally concious, and how to live a full life. This positivity is where I want to go!

So welcome!